Sharing the Load
I am a person that likes to help out others, it's just in my nature, however, I am starting to feel like I am carrying a very uneven load.
The day goes like this.
Partner leaves for work @ 7:00 AM
I prep school lunches and make sure all kids (4 kids - 1 is mine) are ready for the school bus at 8:00 am
I work an 8-5 Job (currently Remote), partner works 8-5 Job (Teaching).
I am home when the kids get in usually with lunch prepared, then oversee homework, chores and sports preparation.
Now the kicker the kids are with us 50% of the time but her kids (3) come to our house every afternoon and are collected by dad on his weeks. So I am feeding, doing homework and getting them ready for their activities which he will then take them to.
Then I will prepare dinner, clean a few areas (kitchen, dining room etc), fold any excess washing etc - you know the small odd jobs.
Now the idea behind the kids coming here was so she could see them during our off weeks, but since she works so late this barely happens. The kids have activities almost every night some of which we volunteer.
Then she works again at home after all of this until 10-11 pm (teaching is clearly a crazy profession).
If I raise this point the arguments will go along the lines of...
- Do you really think I do nothing around here?
- Well I didn't ask you to do that.
Or two of my favourites, absolute silence until the next day at which time the argument will continue via text as this is her prefered medium OR answering a question with a question - I might say hey you said you were going to order pizza on the way home, did you do it? to which I will get the response umm you are also able to call and order did you do it?
I am not sure what I am trying to do here but needed to get it out because I feel like I am doing a great job but if I voice frustrations then what I am doing is made to seem inconsequential therefore not worth doing or made to feel guilty that I do not recognise her contributions.
I feel like I am parenting "their" kids more than they are, neither of the Boys read at the appropriate level and the Daughter is weak in Maths. You would think that this would be strange for a teacher's kids to be behind but with the amount of time spent working there is very little time for any help, so I simply ask her for materials and tutor them myself.
tx for listening