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Ok what’s the deal with all these Violent kids?

Bethmay97's picture

Ive read on here more than once about kids Physically attacking their parents and/or telling them they want to kill them.  Think there was one who went after DH with a Baseball bat! Good lord! 
 

So my question is HOW in gods name does this get so bad and why? I totally understand if the bios spoil and never give consequences the kid will be a brat BUT turn into a Raging psychotic lunatic that threatens to KILL their parents??? I don't think so. I know a lot of spoiled bratty teens and NONE of them have assaulted their parents or told them they are going to kill them. To me this is a Extremely angry teen not just a kid with no rules but why?

ESMOD's picture

I don't know if this is a 100% new or not.  When I was in HS.. there were a couple of boys that killed their father and stepmom.. rolled their bodies up in blankets and took the parent's car and credit card and went on a blowout spending spree/vacation.  It took a while for people to catch on that parents weren't around I guess.. but kids were found at a resort about a week later.  

This was the early 80's.. so it's not like "bad seeds" are completely new.

I do think that there are a few factors that are making this issue worse.. 

1.  Two income households and parenting farmed out to daycare and schools.  I absolutely support and appreciate the fact that I am able to earn a good living as a woman.  But, I do think that kids are way better off when they have parents who are actively involved in their upbringing.. for more than a couple of hours a day so to speak.  And when both parents are working..commuting.. trying to keep up with house and home.. there just is often not enough time to really spend with kids that would be much more beneficial to them.  I'm not saying that it is the "woman's" job to be the one to be the SAHP.. but I think many kids would benefit from having a parent home with them during their formative years... (at least until FT school).

2.  This seems counter intuitive to what I just said.. but homes have gotten to be too child centric.  My brother and his wife focused so much on "not letting their child be unhappy".. for example.. the boy didn't like riding in cars.. no long trips for them.. he didn't like it.. vs my parents and my DH who basically didn't approach this as even an OPTION that the child had a say.  I mean, I get my nephew is an active kid.. but he could have benefited from learning some patience by getting through some longer trips in the car.  Giving the children too much power.. putting them on equal footing with the parents is part of the problem too.

3.  More divorce... this just leads to a bunch of issues.. and again... I don't think that kids appreciate until they are older that "toughing out a sucky relationship for the sake of a child" is not so easy.. Certainly my OSD is learning that now because she has 2 of her own kids.. and her relationship with her husband can be rocky.  But, splitting of homes.. introducing new partners that may not have an interest in the kids.. resent them etc.. and then the dynamic of the parent's battles being fought through their kids too.. I don't think kids get a total pass for being "poor little COD".. but there is something to this existance that is unnatural and difficult for everyone involved.  

4.  Life in general has become faster and more instant gratification.. video games.. electronics.. kids have a lower threshold for patience because they don't experience that much.

5.  Exposure to violence and more adult themes in social media and on entertainment.. music, video.. TV etc...

All of these things factor in... 

 

tog redux's picture

Honestly, I think this kind of thing has always happened. Cain and Abel, Lizzie Borden, etc. Family violence has always been a thing.

It's just more publicized and everyone hears about it now.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Didnt she kill her dad and SM? Trying to recall

Thumper's picture

About Lizzie Borden.  Oh I believe she did it.  It was very personal...whack whack whack.

 

 

SamiPix's picture

Once again, this disrespectful kid (SS14) is out of control.  We found vaping and weed paraphernalia in his room and of course it got taken away and there was a very loud conversation about it.  Find out today day after he is dropped back off at mother's that he texts his father being a disrespectful brat and that he is threatening first to hurt himself if we don't give it back.  Second, HCBM calls DH hysterical shortly thereafter saying that he has threatened to hurt/kill-- we don't know which because she won't be specific -- DH and me.  SS14 knows I have an orange belt in TKD and MMA, and I will wipe the floor with him. That being said, I wouldn't want to resort to that.  He is bigger than me and I am very concerned he has now once again made specific threats.  We were supposed to have him this weekend but HCBM wants to keep him because she is worried he might do something.  I'm at a loss here.  I know the kid has issues, but threatening to kill us?  

Venting... not even sure what I'm going to do.  HCBM promised DH she would get him seen this week.  This on the heels of SD23 threatening me last year with an "ass kicking" which is hilarious, but I've come to a slow rapid boil.  She's been banned from my home and I don't know what to do about the 14 yo.  This is all becoming too much.  Been with DH for almost 3 years, married almost 3 months and this fuckery is what I'm dealing with.  I don't want to have to defend myself against either kid if they come at me, but I will if pushed.  How do you deal with this shit, honestly?