SD16 is full-on passive aggressive
This girl only sees me once a month or so, yet she feels the need to be such a bully in the little time I'm actually around her.
The effects of me disengaging from her have gotten out of control. I'm not rude - I just say no thanks to hours of games or playing with dolls. (Yes, she's 16). Her meal was wrong with our delivery order, and she wanted mine (again), but I had put hot sauce on it (again). I had two glasses of red with my bf at dinner - she believes all alcohol is poison. So the result of all this? She flipped. Door slamming and screaming. I just walked away, locked myself in BF's room and cried.
Day two - passive aggressive comments. I'm an old lady (ha), with no interests. All I want to do is dangerous stuff like cycling and swimming, which is boring and "cocky". I even heard "I bet if we had a fireplace, you'd get drunk like all adults do and the house would burn down". She would be quiet until I entered the room, and then start sucking spit through her teeth and exclaiming "AHHHH". Constantly ask what I was going, where I was going, what I was looking at. Kicking her feet on the table and singing. Saying how awesome she is to herself and watching me for a reaction.
I spoke to my BF, and yet again I said this was unacceptable, that she's rude and hurtful, and he needs to call her out in the moment, not ask her to apologize later on. He finally admitted that she's angry with anyone who refuses to do exactly what she says, that she thinks her wants are more important than anyone else's, that she doesn't care about anyone else's level of comfort or happiness other than her own. She said this directly to him. There is no changing her, no reasoning with her.
I've blogged here about this so many times now that it's just a broken record to whoever reads, over and over again. I've been having panic attacks with vomiting over the last six months - stress from covid as well, of course, which so many people are dealing with. But here, we all deal with this stepshit on top of everything.
I'm angry, I'm embarrassed, I'm ashamed. And I'm not ready to end it with my BF. But SD16 is such BS to deal with and he's always known it. I don't share my things with her, I don't play games with her, I always respond politely and will have conversations at times. This isn't ENOUGH for her. She's angry now that she can't control me.
This has to be something other than her anxiety. Her mom is the same way. My friends think both of them are sociopaths. Histrionic? Borderline? Am I tossing out psych terms unnecessarily? Just effing losing it here.