You are here

Evil Aniki and poor wittle BioHo

Aniki's picture

Or should I say "The Barren B!tch Strikes Again!"? 

Anyone who has read my blogs knows that BioHo refers to me as the Barren B!tch because I could not have bios. 'Ho has also accused me of trying to "steal" her place/family. Apparently, I'm still trying...

My birthday was this past weekend. I got texts from SD24 and SS21 and a birthday card from SD27 and family. SS18, to my great surprise, left a gift bag inside the door for me with some of my favorite (local) treats. I called him to thank him. Unfortunately, BioHo overheard the conversation because...

Seconds after we hung up, DH's phone rings. SS18 calling. But, in typical BioHo style, she obviously grabbed SS's phone to call DH (because DH usually lets 'Ho calls go to voicemail).

DH: Hey bud...
Ho: ~screeching swears and who knows what~
DH: What the f*ck do YOU want?!
Ho: ~yelling~ That barren b!tch is trying to steal my family!!!
DH: ~holding the phone away from him~ What the f*ck are you talking about? Calm the f*ck down already.
Note: Never, in the history of being told to calm down has anyone ever calmed down...
Ho: SS18 gave that f*cking b!tch a birthday present!
DH: SS18 gave my WIFE a present, yes.
Ho: He's MY son, dammit! MINE!!! Where the f*ck does that b!tch get off? ~starts bawling~
DH: My WIFE had nothing to do with that. HE made that choice because SHE's nice and HE has manners. And he sure the hell didn't get them from YOU.
Ho: SHE is NOT his mother! I AM!! Not that barren f*cking b!tch!!!
DH: You’re a mother, alright. And if she's a b!tch, God only knows what that makes you. 
Ho: I'M HIS F*CKING MOTHER!!!
DH: Yeah and it's a damn shame. I feel sorry for him.
Ho: Why YOU...
DH: ~click~ 

 

Coffee, anyone? *music2*

Comments

justmakingthebest's picture

Bahahahaha!!!!

I love your DH!!!

Sparkl3s's picture

Well damn! I wish my hubby would tell his ex off like that but he just internalizes his dislike. 
 

Happy Birthday!! 

Aniki's picture

Mine used to do the same thing. He's a former Disney Dad who always gave into 'Ho's demands. SO glad he outgrew that phase!

Thank you!

CLove's picture

Happy birthday!!!!

What a lovely thing to have ALL skiddos acknowledge your birthday. Biggrin I can only hope for a "happy bday" text, even from SD14.

LOL, on bio Ho. She gets what she deserves...

Im sure it was salt on the wound of her toxic personality. "I feel sorry him" was pure gold.

Aniki's picture

Thank you, CLove!

It was quite lovely and unexpected. *biggrin*

BioHo has yet to realize that her terror tactics that kept the skids in line when they were younger are now THE reason why they avoid her. Doubtful she will ever learn.

He's so sexy... Biggrin

caninelover's picture

I'm glad DH didn't pull any punches.  What a douchebag move calling from SS's phone.  

Happy belated birthday and glad the SK's all treated you well.

Aniki's picture

She does it because DH is now in the habit of letting her calls go to voicemail and rarely responds (because it's usually nonsense).

Thank you!

Kes's picture

Happy Birthday, Aniki!  BioHo really showed her true colours in that little episode, huh?  She's evidently getting desperate.  Sad.  

Aniki's picture

Thank you, Kes!

She's been going downhill since SD27 majorly rebelled. Karma is the true beeyotch here!

futurobrillante99's picture

Bahahahahaha! What I love best is that your skids don't seem to feel a loyalty bind in wishing you a happy birthday. It sounds like your husband has set good boundaries with his children and/or his kids see that their mom is a nutter.

Happy birthday, Aniki!!

Aniki's picture

Contrary to 'Ho delusions, I have certainly never tried to usurp her place. And, as the years pass, 'Ho has been doing a bang up job without any help from, well, anyone!

Thank you, FB!!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Now THAT'S a great birthday present!

Poor SS, though. I hope he left the house to get away from his crazy bi!ch mother and her irrational tantrum.

Aniki's picture

I consider it quite the gem!

I'm sure he did. He's 18 and is ready to escape the 'Ho House permanently. SS21 has already told DH that he will never come back here. 

queensway's picture

I think it is very nice that your steps acknowledged you on your birthday. Good for them. Not sooo much for bio mother. What an insecure nut job. It really doesn't matter what she says, or what she thinks. F her.

Sure lets share a coffee and good music, I'm in. Your choice of song, birthday girl.

Aniki's picture

Thank you, Queen! It was a lovely surprise on all counts. 'Ho is losing her children because her ridiculous behavior is driving them away. It's no one's fault but her own. 

I'll be greedy and choose two:

  • Happy by Pharrell
  • One Toke Over The Line by Brewer & Shipley

Drinks

queensway's picture

Oh my gosh, one toke over the line, I forgot about that song song. Good one. So here is my song about you, (she comes in colours)... She's a rainbow, Rolling stones. Happy BD!!!

Drinks

JRI's picture

If she really wanted to sabotage, better to guilt the kid, possibly with tears, go into a depression, blame the kid for her unhappiness, accuse him of disloyalty, etc.  BioHo needs to reread the BM handbook, this was not an effective response.  Lol.

 

Aniki's picture

JRI, 'Ho was able to intimidate the skids when they were younger: anger and fear are her weapons. Crying, yes, but always lumped in with rage. Should I give her tips from the BM handbook? LOL

JRI's picture

I might have thought she was the author of the Official BM Handbook but something tells me her writing skills might be limited...  lol.

Aniki's picture

Oh, the stories I could tell you! (In 'Ho speak... O I cld tl u!)

It's been almost 2 years and I still laugh over her calling everyone "tee-toters" (teetotalers). *lol*

Stepdrama2020's picture

Glad it turned out well. Your DH is a keeper for sure. 

BM sounds like a jealous loon.

Vile and cruel to call you barren B. That crosses the line! TRASH

Aniki's picture

Thank you, Stepdrama!

He is!

She is. 

Well, I am barren and can certainly be a B... However, I live by the adage that things only bother you if you let them. And I don't. Sticks and stones, darlin'. Sticks and stones. *i-m_so_happy*

Stepdrama2020's picture

You are lucky to have skids that love you. Obviously DH raised them well. That is half the battle.

Aniki's picture

BioHo made sure it didn't start out that way and that there have been serious bumps. Thankfully, no roadblocks. DH is a rock - steady and strong. That helps!

advice.only2's picture

Happy belated birthday Aniki. All I can figure is setting BioHo off is the icing on the proverbial cake.

Aniki's picture

Thank you, advice! Evil Aniki would love to shove multiple pieces of cake down BioHo's cakehole... *diablo*

MissK03's picture

Happy Birthday!!

GO ANIKI'S DH!! Put her in her place!! 

I also "stole" SD from BM. Which is so far from the truth haha. She's still young so who knows what the future holds there. 
 

SD calls my uncles gf "my mom." If/when BM finds this out I predict bawling crying fit.. much to what Bio Ho says.

 

Aniki's picture

Thank you!

He'll have stud status for days. 

We're sister thieves! LOL

Gimlet's picture

*Wraps baseball bat in barbed wire*

Send me her address whenever you have time.

That ugly cow's jealousy of you is eating her alive, isn't it?

Aniki's picture

Woman, I snorked water up my nose! You know I don't need that baseball bat, but if it makes you feel comfortable (and distances you from 'Ho cooties...), bring it!

Why, yes, I do believe it is. Quick! Call the waaaaaaaaahm-bulance!!! *bomb*

Gimlet's picture

Well, I don't want to TOUCH her, who knows where she's been. 

It's staggering to me that she's still acting like such a child, she should know by now that your DH is going to shut her dumb ass down.

Oh and HBD!!

Aniki's picture

Disposable gloves are no longer the rage? When it comes to 'Ho, you'd better grab an extra-long baseball bat. With all of her... wallowing, I'm surprised her hoohah hasn't fallen out. *bad*

I expect no less from her and can only imagine what shenanigans will occur at future events. SS18 graduates this year. Fingers crossed that it's virtual...

Thank you!!!

ndc's picture

I knew as soon as I saw the heading that this post was going to be gold.  And it didn't disappoint.

Happy birthday!

Aniki's picture

Thank you!!

He did good. *dirol*

Maxwell09's picture

I love this so much. I am so glad he wouldnt let her get away with that crap and I hope SS doesn't have to put up with too much grief because she's being a bitter betty. 

Happy Birthday

Aniki's picture

I hope that for SS, too. However, 'Ho's horrific behavior is the reason why her children are "fleeing". Kudos to them for escaping the crazy! Thankfully, DH the Rock will always be there for them. 

Thank you!

Smashytalk's picture

First off, happy birthday! It sounds like everyone else made it special. I hope you can still enjoy the day even with COVID and all the craziness. 

Your BM sounds like such a treat. On the plus note, you're at the finish line with minimal interaction hopefully soon, and it seems that everyone knows she's a fruitcake.

Aniki's picture

Thank you! I did. I'm an introvert so a day at home with DH was perfect. 

Oh, I'm sure that 'Ho will stretch out every little in a pathetic attempt to remain relevant. 

Floral_SM's picture

Haha we have the same Toxic Hobag to deal with as a BM. I would be so rich if I got a $1 for hearing 'I am the mother! I will never be replaced!' Pfft. Love how insecure they are. How good is it when DH's tells them what they think haha. 
Hope you had a great day :) 

Aniki's picture

DH hanging up on 'Ho was great. All of the rest was like winning a big ol' poker game!

I did. Thank you!

CajunMom's picture

Reading this!! Smack down! Awesome!!

And Happy birthday! 

strugglingSM's picture

Happy Birthday! I'm glad your skids remembered and got you something. 

BioHo sounds completely unhinged. Glad your DH clearly knows how to set boundaries. Does she scream and cry when they buy presents for other people?

 

Aniki's picture

Thank you, strugglingSM! It was quite nice to be remembered. Smile

'Ho is nukkin' futz. I'm beginning to wonder if she has untreated syph... *diablo*

Ispofacto's picture

In the future:

Ho: He's MY son, dammit! MINE!!! Where the f*ck does that b!tch get off? ~starts bawling~

DH:  Mostly in our bed, but sometimes also in the shower, on the stairs, on the kitchen counter, or on the livingroom floor.

Make calling him very unpleasant for her.

But seriously, he should have hung up the first second he heard her voice.

 

Aniki's picture

Woman, there is coffee sprayed all over my keyboard and screen! LMAO!!! That DH response brings back fond memories of 'Ho interrupting one of our Special Breakfasts 3 years ago. Rewinding...

 

Mid-Saturday morning, DH's phone rings. It's 'Ho. He didn't answer. 15 minutes laters, it rings again. 'Ho. Aaaaaaand 20 minutes later, it rings. 'Ho again. DH turned off the ringer and put it in his work bag. I started making our planned "Special Breakfast".

Now, Special Breakfast is a little tradition we have. I make scrambled eggs, back bacon, and biscuits and put 3-4 jars of jam on the table (DH luuuuuurrrrrvvvsss his jam!). And I do it wearing my apron. ONLY my apron. DH makes fresh coffee and sets the table. He's NOT wearing an apron. 

The bacon is done, the biscuits are 2 minutes from coming out of the oven, and I'm scrambling the eggs when there is a knock on our door. Our back door, which opens into the kitchen. Can you guess who? If you guessed 'Ho, you're right!! It was all I could do to keep from screaming with laughter with what DH did next.

He grabbed the towel-lined basket (awaiting the biscuits, slapped it over his naked crotch, yanked open the back door and bellowed, "WHAT!!!"

'Ho, mouth agape, looks at my stone-faced, NAKED (except for that basket!) DH, looks through the doorway to see my BARE ARSE (pink apron strings neatly tied in a bow at my waist) at the stove, and stammers out, "I-I-I-I w-wanted to know if-if-if you a-an-and Aniki are p-playing trivia tonight." DH barked, "NO!" and slammed the door in her face.

We heard her go out the screen door, start up her car, and leave. THEN I started laughing and said, "DH, the biscuits are ready. Are you done with that basket now?"

 

Yes, he should have hung up on her, but there actually ARE times when she has something pertinent to say about one of the skids (SS18's grades, for example). Other times, it amuses him. Regardless of how many times he ignores her calls and texts, she has yet to slow down/stop. Beeyotch be cuh-razy.

WarMachine13's picture

Ani I just HOWLED laughing. Two guys are giving me the hairy eyebrow.

Ho needs a padded cell. She's whack.