The paternity/custody drama continues
Well everyone, it's been about 2 weeks since my DH swore he'd get this whole mess with sd sorted out. In his defense he did talk to a lawyer in sd homestate. The lawyer told him it was hopeless because she is too old and in the divorce decree between her mother and her ex husband she is included as his child. This leaves my DH with no way to get paternity established in that state.
That's when DH melted into a puddle and started saying bm wants to get paternity established and her ex husband and bd of 3 other kids would co-operate in establishing paternity. He is supposed to be setting up this meeting between the 3 of them with the lawyer that specializes in fathers rights in Michigan.
He has really convinced himself that this will all go smoothly. Literally the only way it will work out in his favor is if hcbm co-operates. She only messages him to ask for money and tell him how horrible he is for not sending more. She keeps talking about how she spends 500$ per kid for Christmas and he only gave 100$ to her for gifts, etc etc etc.
DH has said he's decided to commit himself fully to our family and to put us first and do what he can for sd. He has also agreed if hcbm refuses to allow him to establish paternity that it will be time to say goodbye to sd at least until she's an adult and then he can try to connect with her again if she wants to and explain the situation.
It's just a mess and to be honest I'm not sure if this is enough. He spoke to the lawyer days ago but hasn't talked to hcbm yet. I cant tell he's terrified, he knows he is legally screwed unless the woman who has been shitting on him and threatening him off and on for the past 5 years agrees to have her reputation damaged in the court room as she talks about making a child with another man while married to another and collecting child support from her ex husband. I have a hard time believing this.
If anyone has advice on how to get this resolved I would love to hear it. I know the consensus is he needs to just let it go, it's not going to happen. I agree at this point, there is no reason hcbm would co-operate with this. She gets money, more if she starts guilting him and threatening him.