You are here

OT - Woman Wednesday

Aniki's picture

Yes, men are welcome, too! :)

With all of the chaos and negativity swirling around us, how about some positives to give us a boost? A funny story, a poem, some uplifting words... please share something that makes you feel a little/lot better.

 

You know you are on the right road when you lose interest in looking back.

My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.

If you're going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick up some wine on your way back?

People who say "go big or go home" seriously underestimate my willingness to go home. Like, it's literally my only goal. (For introverts like me!)

I'm amazed by people who lose weight with exercise. When I exercise, nothing happens because my DNA still thinks I'm a European peasant. So it's like "Oh! Are we running from the English again, lass? Dinnae ye worry; we'll keep ye plump as a partridge to outlast the murderous bastards!"

 

Book Titles

  • I Feel Like I'm Already Tired Tomorrow - A Memoir
  • Great Mysteries Of Our Time: I said something out loud 3 days ago and now I'm seeing ads for it on Facebook
  • Hypothetical Arguments I've Won In The Shower
  • Fishing The Box Out Of The Trash Because I Didn't Read The Directions Before Throwing It Away -  A Cookbook
  • "Per My Last Email" And Other Phrases For Being Petty In Work Emails While Also Maintaining An Air Of Professionalism

 

And finally, some words of wisdom...

Don't make excuses for mean people. You can't put flowers in an arsehole and call it a vase.

 

Wishing you a better day! *give_rose*

Comments

ESMOD's picture

"Per My Last Email" And Other Phrases For Being Petty In Work Emails While Also Maintaining An Air Of Professionalism

 

hahaha... I have had to pull every one of those out of my toolbox this week.  I have had disaster after disaster because other people didn't do their job properly and the mess landed in my lap... and even then.. people were refusing to FIX the problems.. I sent and recieved like 100 emails the other day.

many "per my email" and "it's important that our books are accurate for the fiscal year" and "kind regards" and "If I am not mistaken"..lolol

 

Aniki's picture

An Aniki special... "This is a gentle reminder..."

IOW, you were supposed to do something and you did NOT do it. Asshat.

Merry's picture

I actually use this one, only altered to "friendly reminder." This is after the idiot has had at least three reminders, and I (the Big Gun) have been called in.

Usually one email from me is sufficient. If there is a phone call or second email followup it becomes significantly less "friendly."

Aniki's picture

My boss prefers "gentle" over "friendly. NO idea why. Believe me, I would luuuuuuuurrrrrvvvv to be able to be less "friendly/gentle" if I have to follow up that initial reminder!

halo1998's picture

I use these phrases alot with Beaver...

Per my last email, text, conversation, moon phase...LEARN TO READ YOUR EMAIL 

Pursuant to ...Beaver read your custody agreement

In lieu of....f*ck off btch...we doin our own thing

In light of....no way in hell we are doing x, y, z

Please advise...BEaver your talking in circles and make no sense

 

Aniki's picture

I've dealt with people who cannot read 3 simple sentences. An actual email:

  1. Print out the attached document.
  2. Read and sign the document.
  3. Give the printed/signed copy to me when complete.

They do 1 & 2 and ask, "Aniki, what do I do with this printed/signed document?" Read #3, genius. *dash1*

Aniki's picture

When I'm feeling especially evil, I like to attach the previous email to the new one. *diablo*

Kes's picture

I will look up some of those books, Aniki!  Have had a tough week, as we had our central heating (pipes and radiators) replaced this past week, the coldest week of the winter so far, in England.  It took 6 days, but we now have warmth - aaaahhhhh!!  

I have this offering for your thread: 

"I don't want to hear from those who preach joy without struggle, who talk of endless love that doesn't require a journey through hell to find it, who splash Pollyanna paint on everything, in hopes of hiding from the darker colours. I want to sit in circle with comrades in arms who've seen it all and have yet a pirate's gleam in their eyes as their teeth flash in laughter by the firelight, telling their tales from the road.  I want to know those broken-and-then-healed ones who've found treasures in their Fisher King quests and have now reclaimed a castle home with all the humble pride of Parsifal. I want to know you, fellow travellers, if what you've found is only yours. Hard won, stripped bare of everything false, and worth having."  - Jacob Nordby.  

Aniki's picture

Kes, I LOVE that!!!

One of my bitchsters-in-law - years ago - said she wanted to counsel obese people. Because, obviously, the only reason they were fat was because they ate too much. This from a beeyotch who is UNDERweight and only went over 100 pounds when she was pregnant (topped out at 112 - her OB doctor was furious she would not "eat for two" as she was jeopardizing the baby).

Mominit's picture

God only gives you what you can handle.  And apparently God thinks I'm BadA$$! (believe it or not this actually inspires me, who am I to argue with God who thinks I"m BadA$$!

I love to make lists.  I also love to leave them on the counter and play "I wonder what was on it" at the super market.

People fail because they focus on how far they have to go instead of how far they've come.  Remember that right now you're in a place you only wished you were a little while ago.

And an old classic: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent (Eleanor Rossevelt)

Aniki's picture

Mominit, that first one strikes home. The last 2-3 years, God has definintely been ramping up His belief in my BadAssery!

Cannot tell you how many times I've left a list at home. SO thankful my cell phone has a Notes app so I never forget my list. Although I did forget my phone once...

That old classic is spot on. Many times, I have said something similiar... "People can only make you feel bad if you let them."

halo1998's picture

book titles..

Living in the Beaver pond and how to survive... a tale of love, loss and a pyscho orange toothed rodent

How to keep your sanity among idiots...aka "I can't make this sh*t up."

Hell have no furry like my husbands ex wife...a 12 volume anthology.

 

Quotes...

God Give me coffee to change the things I can change and wine (bourbon) to accept the things I can't.

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.”
― George Carlin

“I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.”
― Madonna

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

― Mark Twain

Mominit's picture

That is one of my favorite quotes, but I had no idea it was Mark Twain! I thought it came from someone here! (Shows how wise I think you folks can be!)

Aniki's picture

Love those, halo! I would love to write a book titled "I Can't Make This Sh!t Up!" Hmmmm...

JRI's picture

"Mental health is an ongoing process of dedication to reality at all costs."  Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

"On the debris of your despair, you build your character".  Emerson

"(Types of intelligence) include ...the inner contentment that arises from attuning one's life to be in keeping with one's feelings".  Goleman, Emotional Intelligence