You are here

How vindictive are they?

1dad4kids's picture

We recently posted an open position with our company. Gave a kid 2 chat interviews and set up his work schedule. Morning comes and the kid no shows. He had applied through our FB page so I went to message him on there and he's blocked me, or at least the company. DH & I are like wtf? 

Then he shows up in my suggested friends yesterday with a picture of him and BM's sister. I don't know if they are dating or what, or if he's related to them but now I'm confused. For one, the picture he used to apply with was different than that one, and it wasn't a new profile either. For two, what benefit could that possibly serve BM? 

I'm wondering if this was a ploy, or more of an accident. As in he did want the job but told BM's sister the day before and she was like "what no!" Or something. I really can't see how BM could have benefitted from this. 

We did tell the kid our wage and etc, but no personal info and other than finding out what work he has scheduled he wouldn't even really be working with DH. 

 Just wondering if anyone has a BM this vindictive? I know the StepDad's BM got him fired from work but I'm not sure how that would benefit her. 


SeeYouNever's picture

It boggles my mind how BMs manage to manipulate people around them into doing their bidding. 

If my SOs sibling asked me to fake interview for a position at her ex's company I would be freaked out by the whole family dynamic, but some people love that type of drama. BM needs to get a hobby rather than concocting ways to spy on you guys, or just hire a PI! 

BM isn't that vindictive in our case but she did spy on DH and he uses the name stupid password for most accounts so there may be a few she still has access to... She used to read his imessages on SDs ipad. Apparently she had access to his imessages for YEARS but couldn't keep her mouth shut when his roommate asked about if I was staying over and she knew that DH had a GF (me). Thankfully I have an Android so she never saw my texts. She could have still had access to his imessages if she hadn't flipped out and texted him "who is seeyounever? You are leading a double life!" Yeah they were separated and both dating other people and he had lived with a roommate for a couple years by then, but sure he was leading a double life... They weren't fully divorced yet but she had the opinion that she could date but he couldn't. 

1dad4kids's picture

Wow. I had a boyfriend once who sent my parents a bunch of emails I had sent out. They said I was doing all sorts of crap, things that teenagers do without telling their parents. I have never felt more emotionally violated then that. If someone was reading all my text messages I think I would puke. It's crazy that iPhones work like that! (I'm an android fan too lol)

Luckily she couldn't keep her mouth shut and that the messages got shut down before you guys were really involved because who knows what kind of ammo she would have attempted to use. 

Just wow. 

Gimlet's picture

Considering how hard she's willing to fight to keep her child's father, who is a stable and loving parent, from having his son half of the time, I would say yes, she is this vindictive and petty. 

advice.only2's picture

Maybe to see what you are paying employees so she can try and use that against DH in court...he did make a declaration of his income right? She's probably fishing that he's lying about the money aspect.

1dad4kids's picture

Funny you mention that. We actually reduced our rate of pay because she was saying we were overpaying our contractors. She may have well been checking into that. 

Thumper's picture

VERY vindictive at least ours is. She hunts down people we barely associate with OR use to associate with...then swoops in. Her kids do it for her too.

They have no guardrails, nor does her kids. It's laughable that she is over 50 yrs old and still at it. Whelp, her mom has to be 70something and she still does it too.

It's nuts. THEY are not well people.

Sorry this happened to you---guess you have to pre-screen next potential employees via social media to 'see' if there is a connection to BM and bm's kids. That is a hell of a thing, isn't it.

(((HUGS)))---it makes you feel violated when this happens to you. I know, we have been there in different ways.




1dad4kids's picture

Gosh I hope BM's (or StepDad's) other kids don't end up like that. We recently told SS11 he could bring his SS10 over when he was here. I'd hate to have to catch a child digging through my garbage of snooping through my drawers. 

shellpell's picture

Just curious, why you do think that your ss may be immune to BM's shenanigans? It seems that if a BM is hellbent on trying to alienate their kid from DH/SM, they don't fail very often. And if BM is sharing court proceedings and other adult topics with SS, how would that not poison skid?

1dad4kids's picture

He doesn't know about any of our court proceedings, just about his StepDads, which he claims to overhear. 

He's a sweet kid, he has no clear signs of alienation yet. We're hoping they don't come.