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Guidelines? Personal experience.

WickedStepmother_'s picture

When exactly can someone be declared unfit parent? At what point does mental health issues start interfering custody issues? BM unbelievably toxic. It's to the point that she is manipulating her children's mental health. She is constantly projecting her own issues on to them. Every lie she tells it's complete truth to her.  

Kes's picture

Good question.  Here in the UK, I don't think kids tend to be taken away from parents unless there is flagrant physical abuse and/or neglect.  Emotional abuse tends to be still largely overlooked in a lot of cases, sadly.  

tog redux's picture

They have to be neglecting or abusing the children physically or sexually. Emotional abuse is hard to prove unless it involves the parent openly belittling the child, calling them names, degrading them, etc, on a constant basis. 

WickedStepmother_'s picture

I'm not sure if most people can see it but the kids are being emotionally manipulated into taking medication. 

SeeYouNever's picture

In the US child services will get involved if a mandatory reporter like a teacher notices the kids are filthy, injured, obviously neglected, or make comments about their caregivers doing illegal things.

Other than that if the police are called and the parents arrested then the kids will be taken away. 

Even in this circumstances parents are rarely considered permanently unfit. The system wants reunification and a relationship between parents and kids as long as the parents want it and are working to get better.

I used to work for the court system and even some 9f the most crappy parents were still encouraged to stay active with their kids even if they are in foster care. Parents need to be real Sh*tbags for the kids to be permanently removed. This is why I could never foster a kid, the end goal is always reunification and the kids can be disappointed by their parents for years while not able to go back with them. It takes years to lose parental rights. 

Thumper's picture

SEE You Never----YUP YUP YUP

Absolutely when kids are removed the end goal is reunification.

I must add---reunification with crap parent IS goal, in spite of placement of kid with non-crappy parent.

Decent families waste a tons of money, time when removal occurs. IT IS NUTS.

SeeYouNever's picture

Yeah it's heartbreaking to see parents doing the bare minimum while some volunteer and the state is raising their kid. They see them a few hours every couple weeks and it's the highlight of the kids life. Then the parent has a positive drug test, restarts rehab and the process timeline starts over. All while your taxes pay for it and they won't even place kids with other family if they fear the unfit parents will get them back.

BethAnne's picture

My SD's younger brother was removed from thier mother's care by the state because he has diabetes and BM was not adequately controlling his symptoms which put his life in danger. 

SD came to live with us because BM couldn't be bothered to respond to a petition that my husband made to the court for sd to live with us and him to gain full legal custody. As she did not formally object, the judge granted my husband's request. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I've made so many reports in my capacity as a school employee/mandated reporter. Every city/state/country is different, but in the county i worked in i never once saw a child taken away from the parent. I only ever reported if there were visible marks which coincided with the story from the child, or if the child verbally reported rape or molestation. Never once was the child removed. In one case, a coworker reported a parent over and over and the child was eventually killed by the abuse. Some places are better than others but it has to be pretty bad in my experience. 

WickedStepmother_'s picture

That is so sad. It bothers me so much that abuse isn't taken seriously. Some homes can be so damaging and it goes unnoticed.