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SD eating cake for breakfast &update on car

missginger's picture

So I guess I'm the evil stepmom because I told DH this morning I didn't want SD16 coming down and eating cake for breakfast! The weekend before last when she was here she had 3dozen of the 4 dozen cookies I had made. I think I got to eat 4. The other visitation weekend before that she polished most of the pound cake I had bought because she ate it for breakfast, snack and dessert.  I didn't get any of that cake. This cake I got from Trader Joe's, and since we live 1/2 hour away from TJ's things from there is a real treat. Of course DH copped an attitude. I just ignore him now when he's like that but at least he respected my wishes. I could tell that she had grabbed the plate as soon as she hit the kitchen (it was In a different spot when I came back in) and that DH has stopped her and made her eat a bagel instead. 

As for her driving- well she went out to eat dinner last night with 2 friends. This was the texts she did in 3 hours: When she got there. When they were about to order. When the food got to the table. When they were done eating to say they were stopping at Sheetz for slushees. When she was on her way home. On top of that DH was practically pacing and looking out the window from the second she texted until she got home. I know it's her first time leaving here for a bit in her car but WTF? She left at 5pm and was home by 8. It wasn't even dark out!!! And she drove 9 minutes away! Then on top this is her first weekend with a car and she has no plans to go anywhere! I'd be going to see friends, go shopping anything! 

And now DH just came down in a super pissy mood and I know it's because from the moment she's been up she's been tethered to him! She went into the office and sat in a chair right next to him and now he's had to take her with him when he goes to run around doing some estimates for his job. He would never admit it to me but I know it bugs the crap out of him to have her tethered to him all weekend. But instead of just opening up to me he just cops an attitude and acts like a real Ahole. I know he would've preferred to leave her here so he could be by himself today but oh well he knows better!  he knows I don't wanna be stuck with her all day at the house. 

Another shitty skid weekend....

Comments

Cover1W's picture

Stop buying any treats when she's there. I had to do the same with OSD. DH had to get anything treat like when SDs were here. Still does. My only bonus is now YSD won't touch any baked goods I make , ok fine!

Ignore your DH if he's acting that way. I let DH stew if he's like that. YSD is becoming so clingy with him...almost 15. It's so odd, that's the age I was certainly pulling away from my dad. DH gets annoyed with YSD too but has been good at telling her to back off when he needs space or wants to hang out with me alone.

missginger's picture

Trust me I normally try not to buy things like this when it's the weekend with her here but I was out near Trader Joe's because of a doctors appointment so I really didn't want to pass up getting some good things. But seriously the one freaking time I say something it's like he immediately just gets an attitude! God forbid I say no to his precious daughter. And I wasn't even saying no to her I was just saying that I didn't want her eating cake for breakfast. Imagine that? I actually want her eating something more appropriate in the morning.

Cover1W's picture

I can imagine that and have been there. I have made multiple decisions to not buy yummy things or fun things because it's not appreciated. It sucks. But I don't want the issues that follow. So I eliminate the item/thing/activity. Then the following weekend I get what I want.

And I'd love to see YSD eating something other than dry cereal for breakfast. But DH doesn't fix it, doesn't care to even though he agrees with me, so be it.  No parent authority, no can do.

The_Upgrade's picture

In my case it's DH that's the culprit. When we sit down together we serve out appropriate portions. Then when he's by himself he gets the munchies and polishes off ALL the treats. Closets aren't the normal place to store cakes and chocolates. But they are in my house if they're the gourmet stuff I want to save for myself. 

Harry's picture

DH parent her, when she was young.  Now it's his problem,  his kid his problem. Not yours.  

missginger's picture

Butin a way  it is my problem because anytime I try to have a say about ANYTHING when it comes to her he gets so defensive. If he bought the cake then she could eat the whole thing for breakfast and I wouldn't give two shits. It's also hard for it not to be my problem when his attitude affects how he treats me

Kitten Whiskers's picture

Well, why don't you and your DH tell her now that she has a license and a car, she needs to be gone for so many hours of every day?  That's what you want, right?  For her to be gone?

Chmmy's picture

I have to hide things. Anythig they like, I hide behind my yogurt, hummus or other foods they will not touch

Thumper's picture

Cake for breakfast is great. Where I am from, originally, this would be normal. So would eggs, bacon and fried potatos, ham. BUT CAKE---with coffee--normal too Smile

Sticky Bun's, coffee cake, A.B. cake, shoe fly pie, funny cake....all perfectly normal breakfast...num num nummmm

missginger's picture

The biggest point of my blog is not wether it's ok to eat cake for breakfast ( which to me is teaching horrible eating habits to a kid) but that I bought something for all 3 of us to eat this weekend and I'm a) tired of SD enhaling  sweets without thinking about the fact that it's to be shared and b) I made one little request and DH became a royal DBag!!

Thumper's picture

Totally understand !!

I must say my dh and I are on the same page with stuff like this. He is never a jerk about it it either. 

I am sorry (((HUGS)))

Mamabearof3's picture

Wish my step daughter was satisfied with food here. We buy her anything she wants but she still demands to eat out and get expensive drinks she rarely finishes 

 

shellpell's picture

Hide your Trader Joe's stash in a cooler or lock it up in your room. You have a big DH problem though.

Tried out's picture

think it's weird that when kids start driving independently parents go mental. I did, for awhile, and my husband says it was much worse for him when his daughter started driving than when his sons did. And my son is already showing signs of paranoia and my granddaughter gets hers shortly. My dad was hyper when I got mine. It's just something parents do.

I think you need to try and wrap your head around the idea that sometimes what seems normal or abnormal to you isn't necessarily accurate when it comes to the parent/child relationship because you don't have that experience to draw on.

still learning's picture

I have big boys with hollow legs. If there's anything special that I wanna eat it has to be stashed in the very back of my closet behind my feminine items. Teens inhale everything!  Sorry your H is a dbag.  Ahh the joys of step life.