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Anyone in the school system or know someone who is??? Million dollar Question !

Sunlover92's picture

Ok SS12 almost 13 is SUCH a Disrespectful spoiled RUDE brat I can't imagine SS is a "angel" at school. Yes I KNOW kids are worse with their parents AND school has rules unlike DH/BM BUT do teachers ever "sugercoat" kids bad Behavior to parents??? 

SS Routinely does NOT do his school work or lies about not knowing how to do it to both teachers and DH BUT the teachers NEVER seems Frustrated with this. They just send emails to DH asking if he could make sure SS does his HW.  Don't kids get Detention anymore for refusing to do school work?? SS makes this HIGHLY Irritating Squawking noise and his Math teacher calls SS "his bird boy". I can't Imagine this does not drive the teacher crazy but instead of telling him to stop gave him a cute nickname which Encourages SS to do it more! 

So are teachers just so Desensitized and love kids they so no wrong? Or do they just put on a good front to parents and really thinking thank god that brat is not mine????

notarelative's picture

The teacher's mantra: I only have to  deal with him one school year, for one period a day. His parents have him forever.

If the teacher refers to your child as bird boy, you can be sure the teacher is frustrated with your child. It's not actually a cute nickname.

Some schools don't have detention. If the school does, the teacher might be wary of extra time with bird boy. He could end up listening to the weird sound the entire detention.

Jcksjj's picture

I agree with this. I've wondered how any teacher can put up with SD (and some I could actually see annoyance they were struggling to mask, others I think felt sorry for her). But then I realized, if I only had to deal with SD for part of the day for 9 months I wouldn't care nearly as much as I do looking at another 9 years of her in my home and having to have her in my personal life.

I also feel like teachers, especially the less established ones, are worried about upsetting parents, because they don't know which ones are going to go nuts if they don't hear things super sugar-coated or if the kid comes home with a distorted version of what happened at school one day.

Stressed19's picture

We let parents know, so that it can be addressed! If there is no change, no need to continue saying the same thing. Some parents let their kids run the show.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I used to work in the school system. Often teachers are overworked and unsupported by administration. If SS's school is like this, the teacher probably doesnn't feel like it's worth it to do anything about it. Maybe if the teacher got the impression that the parent would back him/her, but so often these days parents come after the teacher to defend their precious angel instead of addressing the situation at home like parents in generations past. Detention is sometimes impossible because parents will say they don't have transportation to pick the child up after school, and lunch is often so short that they would be accused of not feeding the child or whatever if they did it then. A lot of public school teachers are barely making it through the day. 

Stepmama2321's picture

Worked as a para educator for years, future teacher soon and my mom is a teacher. 

"my bird boy" is absolutely NOT a compliment and the teachers probably hate him. I'd love to say that teachers just love allllll students but this is never the case. 

About the hw, a lot of teachers these days don't "punish" for not doing hw but you never know what's going on in their home life and if it's beyond their control. 

Swim_Mom's picture

just one of 6,724 reasons I could never be a teacher...I'd smack him LOL. That is ridiculous.

ESMOD's picture

Maybe your husband could work with the teacher to help modify behavior.

1.  I know you joke with my son about being "bird boy".. but we  are trying to discourage that behavior at home.. unfortunately.. he kind of likes that name..and it's making it hard for us to curb that behavior.  

2.  We are also working to ensure that he faces consequences when he doesn't complete work.  I know some kids have other challenges but in his case, he just isn't putting in the effort that he is fully capable of doing.  What do you think would be a good way we could work together to impress upon him that it isn't acceptable to not do the work he is assigned?


Lifer33's picture

But here in the UK kids can do no wrong, all positive reviews... Until it comes to the kids failing a test that's gonna take the schools numbers down. We literally just had a parents evening where ss was golden boy, behavioural and academic speaking. Then he partook in mandatory testing n flunked the lot. To everyone's shock and horror he has extreme visual processing issues and probable dyslexia. He's 11 and not parents or teachers picked this up before?! Eye roll 

advice.only2's picture

I think most teachers are going to blow smoke up the parent's a$$ given that they get sh*t all over by said parents and the school district if they aren't towing the line and pushing a false narrative.

MissK03's picture

The whole "no child left behind." I'm 34, we got detention, got zeros, had to do our work. 

I don't know when the school system changed. Kids do not get detention anymore, have weeks to make up late assignments, get to retake tests. 

To me, it is not fair for the hard working students/kids who actually want to succeed in life. 

SS17 is IEP, his work is a joke now, school has gone above and beyond to help it but yet he does bare minimum every year. SO has fought with him about school his entire life. Thank god he is a senior this year. 

Edit: I have a friend who is a high school teacher in a upper class town, her parents are awful. NOT MY KIDDD! 

Rags's picture

Until teachers confront bullshit behavior in the classroom, it just continues.  We had some similar issues with SS and dealing with his ball-less idiot teachers who refused to take effective action was infuriating.

SS is a very smart guy. He figured out early that once he reached the grade where classes were on a block schedule that they could not fail him.  So, the first 6wks he was always a straight A student. The second six weeks were were lucky if he passed a class.  Since he could only be held back for failing the same two or more classes two 6wk periods in a row.... he played them all like the idiots they were.  Next semester... same story.  6wks of straight As followed by 6wks of maybe passing, maybe not.  It drove his teachers insane.

Sitting in front of teaching teams all worked up that he was reading novels in class, not doing his homework, not participating in class, etc.... who would get all spun up when I told them to swat him on the back of the head, take his novel, tear it half and throw it away, then stick him standing at the front of the class every day with no desk.  You would have thought I told them to sit him in a stool with a Dunce cap on at the front of class every day.  Though that would have been very effective in dealing with the issues, SS hated being the center of attention, bood or bad.  There was usually one teacher on his teaching team who got it and would confront SS and get and keep his head in the game.  It was odd to me that these supposedly professional educators had no clue how to deal with the behaviors of their students.

So, after his sophomore year of HS, we outsourced him to Military boarding school and they locked him into clearly understanding the connection between misery and failure.  

Meanwhile back at the ranch and 10+ years later he has a successful 9.5 year USAF career and clearly understands the connection between effort, success, and enjoying his life. He still hates being the center of attention, but... the USAF deals with that problem by making him a trainer/assessor in his job specialty. So....he spends quite a bit of time in front of classes. They also use him to build and present briefings for Sr. leadership because he really is a smart high performance guy.


Gotta love karma!

He is a man that his mom and I are truly proud of and very proud to have raised together.