How far would you go to prove your worth
DH's lawyer just sent an email. In order to process a chambers application refusing the imputed income he wants us to do the following:
-Get an affidavit from a competitor in our city to express the current wage of their employees
-Get an affidavit from 3 industry professionals in accounting, marketing and office management expressing their wage and experience
-Provide my previous job description with the job offer and salary
-Provide a copy of all awards and nominations I have received
-Provide an affidavit regarding my work
-Provide evidence of me actually working for my company
All of this is to prove that the income we earn through our company is split appropriately. They are trying to impute a wage on my DH that would make my wage worth less than minimum wage. Which they expect me to be able to support my 3 kids plus SS10 with (because he also eats, wears clothes and has toys here).
DH and I had a long talk last night, before this email. We'd been fighting and stressed about how shitty the phone conference went yesterday morning. Our family obviously can't suffer to pay CS to BM, but we also can't suffer to fight the CS. Quick calculations show we will come out better off if we can prove my company worth and DH's income isn't imputed. But what is the emotional cost, especially with less than a month until the new baby arrives.
DH has basically told me that whatever I want to do, however hard we want to prove my worth he will do it. And if I want to just say fuck it and pay thousands more dollars each year than the federal guidelines require then he'll do that too.
Child Support doesn't affect just him. Our incomes are shared 100% so whatever DH pays, I pay.
Do I want to fight this? 8 months pregnant and probably with a newborn by the time the court date rolls around. Or do I want to roll over and pay (quick calculations again but at least $16,000) in additional child support?
We're not rich. We make due. Our company is still new and our plans to expand don't really occur until after we're done having kids (another 2 years at least) and we open up a storefront.
BM doesn't work. She's never held a job for longer than a year. Her DH apparently got fired from his $100,000+/year job for some sort of scandal. BM said in the phone conference that the union is fighting his dismissal and "he'll probably win" but I'm the meantime BM is desperate for someone to pay her bills. We have no idea how much she's taking her other baby daddy for at the same time.
I'm frustrated, both DH and I feel defeated. The counselor said she thinks SS10 would be ready to begin a transition to 50/50 after his next session and if BM and DH can agree on a plan. She would continue seeing him through the transition and until he is fully switched to 50/50, and afterwards if he needs it. DH had set up an appointment and BM refuses to accept it until the counselor sees her new "letter" from the lawyers which will outline her obligations (which she had no obligations prior, was just there to help SS10) so I'm pretty sure we're gonna lose this counselor. Even if she sticks around there is zero way that BM is going to agree to any parenting plan that transitions SS10 before he's 18. The letter will tell the counselor she is obligated to provide a recommendation to the court on how to transition SS10. This is the only thing that might save us. If she's on DH's side, as he feels she is.
However, BM's email to the lawyer seemed very much like she liked the counselor. So now DH and I are second guessing ourselves, maybe the counselor is just placating him and actually agrees with BM.
If we get 50/50 then the CS amount won't be such a big deal because it will split the amount based on her income too. It would likely work out to what we should be paying based on DH's actual income (except not having 50/50).
Uhg. I need some advice and some support and someone to tell me BM is a fucking monster.