Dear Annie from 9/10
I usually read the Dear Annie column.. and I can't believe I missed this letter. Honestly, I'm not surprised at the response..
"Dear Annie: I'd like to address a few words to "Feeling Jealous," who was putting together a birthday party for her 13-year-old stepson and was upset that her husband's ex might come.
My parents divorced back in the 1960s, after 25 years of marriage. I was a freshman in high school. As you can imagine, life around home was upside-down, especially for holidays and birthdays when we kids had to choose a parent. Their love had always been unconditional for their children. Being outspoken, an uncommon occurrence for a kid in 1962, I made a heartfelt request to both parents to have all the family together for celebrations. They did it... for us. For their sacrifice, I will be eternally grateful. My two half-siblings referred to my dad as "Uncle." My dad and stepdad were always cordial and friendly. Sometimes, what seems impossible can be made real through loving and caring. -- Grateful Daughter
Dear Grateful: I have a feeling that the rest of your family was grateful to you for advocating that kind of relationship. It sounds as though everyone's lives were richer for it. Thanks for sharing the wisdom."
O Goodness GRACIOUS. You were 14 and you couldn't understand that when your parents split that it might need to mean that your "family Christmas" and other holidays/birthdays would need to be celebrated separately.. you know .. like the rest of their lives. Yes, you were still their daughter but how irresponsible for them to make such a promise that obligated any future partners to this enmeshed dynamic.
And Annie thinks that the rest of the family is "grateful" for her doing this? I'm guessing at least one of her parents.. probably both at many times didn't want to spend time with their EX. Your stepdad probably would have rather done their own thing too.. and why no mention of a stepmom???MMMMMhmmmmm
This was a selfish request by an immature and self centered teen.
I mean, what about the stepdad? Did he not have family he might have wanted to visit? traditions he wanted to follow? What if there were conflicts with your birthday and something else? daddy has to skip that business trip to spend it with his little angel?
I mean, great, if you can get along with your EX when you need to that's wonderful. If your Ex is a respectful person to your new partner and treats them nicely.. that's good too. If one or the other of your parents don't go to the end of the earth lengths to break their Ex.. financially.. emotionally.. that's great. But I cannot imagine signing up for some circus like this.. no way.