SD came for her visitation last night. Apparently she has been butting heads with BM all week and earlier in the week told BM to shut up which resulted in BM taking her phone for a week. SD went into this long drawn out story about what has been going on at BM's house and how she knows that she shouldn't have told her to shut up b/c it was disrespectful but she's had enough of BM and how BM treats her.
I think all of you know that I'm not the biggest fan of SD. I am also not a fan of BM at all. Usually I feel like SD is lying but I didn't get that from her story last night. It seems that SD is actually seeing BMs true colors and knows BM is bat sh!t crazy but they are both so manipulative it is hard telling. If what SD told us is actually true then I feel sorry for her. Apparently the bickering between them started because BM asked SD if her and her friends wanted to go to the pool and they didn't want to go. BM supposedly decided that SD didn't want to go b/c she was to self conscious and started going off about it and asking her "why did we just order a new bathing suit then if you won't wear it b/c you are to worried about your body, why did you have me waste my money?". The new bathing suit she is referring to hasn't even arrived yet. According to SD it just continued and escalated from there and even her friends were upset with her mom and uncomfortable with how she was acting. When one of her friends decided to go home and asked if they could all go over to her house instead BM said that they could go but SD couldn't and told SD "see this is why you can't even keep friends, you make it awkward for them, you're going to chase all your friends away". The only reason that I slightly believe SD is because I know the wrath of crazy that BM has unleashed on DH and my family.
SD then continued to talk about how BM is always bad mouthing us (no surprise I already knew she was trying to PAS SD since DH and I started dating). I guess BM kept telling her that she was so sick of her and couldn't stand her so SD said, "okay so you want me to move to my dad's then??!?" and BM of course said no to that....but also proceeded to tell her how much she would hate living with us and we are terrible people and she doesn't know how we really are and she shelters her from us. She told her that she's lucky she even sees her dad b/c she could go to court and make it supervised visits only and that SD has no say in who she wants to live with. Of couse all lies and control. This is the first time that SD has ever opened up and complained about how her mother behaves and manipulates and how mean she is (which of course DH and I already know BM is mean and abusive emotionally/mentally). I guess she has been body shaming her and telling her if she is so worried about her weight sh should be more active (remember BM has her signed up for every sport under the sun - softball just ended and now she has her signed up for fall ball and field hockey).
Anyways, long story short, DH is now all excited that he thinks SD has finally seen the light and hates BM and wants to come live with us. I think maybe SD might be thinking about it but I don't think she would actually want to move schools. Plus BM would be so triggered and go so crazy if SD said she wanted to live with us and DH actually tried to go for custody. DH is all excited thinking he will just get custody and BM will have to pay us child support. I said, "aren't you concerned with how BM will react if we do that?!?! she is already a known liar/manipulator, I wouldn't put it past her to try to get CPS involved and I'm not putting my other kids at risk because of BM. She has already blamed ODS for many things he did not do and has no problem with treating my kids like villians". BM has been poisoning SD from the very beginning making her feel like she has to compete with us (me and the boys) instead of embracing being a family.
I don't know if I should be worried that SD ends up moving in or just ignore it all and watch it blow over. I know DH desperately wants SD to choose him. I know that BM is crazy and personality disordered and likely would never let that happen. I do feel for SD right now if what she is saying is true. BM is very much like my mom but I recognized the crazy in my mom early on. When my parents divorced they let us choose who we lived with. I chose to live with my dad. My mom is still not over that. 30 years later she is still trying to PAS me from my dad and trash talking him. Maybe SD is truly over being her mom's manipulation pawn.