I thought I was ready to be a step mom but I'm not, please help me.
I met my current boyfriend online. I was hesitant dating him because I knew he had children and never planned to have any of my own (even though it's up in the air). I met his children and they were cute but his ex wife is f***ing crazy and has taken him to court on false abuse charges (he was cleared). She makes everything about parenting difficult and is super manipulative when it comes to the children. Even when I started dating their dad, she would convince them that I was trying to be their mother and take them away from her (in that period was I in NO WAY trying to be).
Him and i have so many differing aspects of our life. I am from europe and want to spend time traveling while he is very family oriented and wants to have another child with me (despite me not wanting my own children... at least with him).
I could go on and on about how we are different but it doesn't matter because I'm not happy with him even though he thinks I'm the one.
Basically what I'm trying to ask is am I in the right to be selfish and not compromise my life goals for him?
He thinks i'm the one and my biggest fear is I won't find someone to love me as much even though I know it's an IRRATIONAL fear. I'm good enough to be loved.
I don't know how to end it with him as we've been together 2 years and I have compromised much of myself to make him happy. I feel like I can't express in words but I PLEASE NEED HELP.
I'm not ready to be a SM nor do I think I ever will be. I'm too selfish. God I just feel so bad.
If you need more explanation as too why we aren't fit, i'll happy to provide.