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Shady or just my imagination??

SM12's picture

DH and I have recently been in this weird funk where we are not really communicating and are both grumpy with each other.  I'm sure the quarantine started this off but we are struggling shaking it off.  I have noticed DH being a bit more selfish than normal which is Adding fuel to my fire. 
 

Anyway....there was an odd situation that happened this weekend and I am not sure how to view it. 
We had YSS this weekend and decided to go camping.   Overall it was a decent time and YSS was good.  No real issues with him so no complaints. 
Our RV does not have a designated room for YSS so he sleeps in the pullout sofa.  

As we were cleaning up yesterday and getting ready to leave, I noticed YSS was searching for something.  He couldn't find his AirPods.  Ok I will help look.  When I made the bed back into the couch earlier I made note to make sure his charge cords weren't caught in the couch so I know the AirPods weren't attached at that time.   YSS said he took them off the charger after I made the bed into a couch so he knows they aren't in that area.   We looked for quite a while.   I had been in the RV cleaning and doing dishes go I knew I had not seen them. yss days when he took them off the charger, DH was there in the same area messing with the radio.   This area is by the TV and had a cabinet about the TV that we put odds and end in.  I never use that cabinet.

Well finally YSS finds the AirPods in the Cabinet about the TV and BEHIND some folder that has paperwork for the RV in it.   There is no way the airpods were accidentally put there.  When dH comes in YSS tells him where they were found.  I remember YSS saying DH was in that area so I ask DH if he put them in the cabinet and he Denys it.  I know I didn't do it and I can't imagine YSS doing that since he looked for them for over an hour and why would he put them behind the folder in the cabinet.

DH denies ever being in the cabinet.  I immediately felt as if I was being looked at like the guilty party.   And it made me very mad.  I know and YSS said DH was over there.  And with how odd DH has been toward me I started to question whether he did that on purpose to make me look bad?   DH has seemed to make efforts these last few weeks to make me look bad in front of people and lying as well.   Lying about stupid stuff like who did what chore.  
Am I crazy or does anyone else think DH May have hid the AirPods to try and make me look like I did it since I was in the RV alone most of the time cleaning?  

 

Comments

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Shady. I'd have to have a sit down and ask what's going on. 

If he's going to continue this behavior, I'd make myself scarce when SS is around so I couldn't be blamed for this caca. Poophead. 

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree. Talk about it with him and if something else happens I would start being "busy" when SS is there. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

I'd be looking through that paperwork to see if anything in there is NOT paperwork for the RV...

SM12's picture

I never thought about that....I can't imagine what else it would be.   But I'm starting to really question what DH is up to.   He just recently got a new phone.  His old phone had a number lock which I knew.  This phone he uses the thumb print lock.  I thought that was shady as well but didn't push the issue.   Now with him trying to gaslight next so much I'm wondering what he is up to.

SM12's picture

Why would DH try to make me look bad to YSS when YSS is the only kid who comes around??  And I spend more alone time with YSS then DH?? So making YSS think I am trying to steal his stuff is going to keep YSS coming around??? I don't think so.

advice.only2's picture

Usually when a person is guilty of something they take it out on the people around them because it helps alleviate their guilt. I would confront him.

ITB2012's picture

he has been cheating for a while and now with the stay-at-home orders he can't cheat and it's getting to him? That he's getting pressure (or pressuring himself) to start it up again and he's taking his frustration out on you?

From all the things that happened without solid proof (like catching him in the act), I'm ninety-nine percent sure my XH was cheating on me before we divorced. And he did the same type of things.

Trust your gut and start watching your back.

SM12's picture

It is possible he has been cheating.  He hasn't been staying late for work much and he calls me when he goes to lunch most days.  I have no clue when he would have time to cheat but then again....it could be emotional cheating.  
DH is the type to go from one relationship to another.  He was stringing his last GF along when he met me.  He told me they had split up a few months prior but I found out a few years later that was a lie.  We were already married when i found out.  And apparently he was with a different girl when he started talking to his last GF.   Again...I didn't know this until much later.   I do recall I noticed what I thought was his last gf having an unusual reaction to our dating...which was out of place had they been split up as long as he said. 

Ar this point I have decided to just sit back and observe.   What happens in the dark always comes to light.  If he is messing around, I will find out son enough.   In the meantime I am getting all my ducks in a row to protect myself financially.   

SM12's picture

But absent mindedness.   I asked him to grab something for me last weekend...he was right next to what I needed.  He acknowledged what I said and then just walked away and did his own thing without even attempting to get what I asked him to get.   
He  has never been able to multi-task so if he is doing something you can just forget about having a conversation or trying to get information.

BethAnne's picture

Short term memory issues could lead to seeming absent minded. He forgot to get the thing for you. He forgot that he put the ear buds away. He forgot what you did to help at the campsite. It might have nothing to do with it, but if his behaviors are escalating or have changed a lot then it might be worth considering a medical explaination rather than a relationship issue.