Wow how things have changed.
I almost died of shock last night. DH, who used to think the entire world revolved around SD (not just his, but everyone's), suggested we go visit his very ill grandpa without SD. Said it would be safer since he is obviously elderly and high risk for covid and she has mostly been with BM (and therefore we have no idea about exposure).
This would be a 4 hour trip to a touristy city. DH of four years ago would NEVER have attended a family function without SD, let alone go on a trip without her. He thought MY family would be devastated if she wasnt at our family functions even and we should plan to have her for all of those. He literally thought everyone was just as obsessed with her as he was, especially since BM and GBM and MIL encouraged him to make her the center of the universe. I mean, he even sent a picture of her playing in the yard to the realtor they used because the realtor just "loved her so much." He thought it was a sin to get a babysitter and have a night out and that it would be like saying he didnt want her around.
So anyone who has obsessive daddies with miniwives on here- things can change.