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Question for anyone with Experience with mental health

Stepmomkate1's picture

Ok is there Certain signs/Symptoms to tell if a child(12/13 yr olds )has some Serious Underlying Emotional/Mental condition vs just being a Coddled spoiled Entitled brat? 

Second I know pre-teens can be moody/Emotional due to their age but “Typically” what age do crying/yelling Temper tantrum’s stop? 

JJCastle's picture

What kind of symptoms/behaviors are we talking about? I'm a social worker with background in mental health. 

Kes's picture

Crying, yelling and temper tantrums, as listed by you, should stop by age 6 or so, after the child starts school typically. If a pre-teen is yelling and has temper tantrums, it is usually poor parenting to blame.  There is no mental health condition that makes a child behave like this.  Autism is different, but that is usually much more obvious.  If you could tell us exactly what the problems are, that would help us advise you. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Or temper tantrums are due to some previous trauma that the kid can't work through. That trauma may stem from poor parenting, but that doesn't make it any less real or needed to be dealt with. Even if you end the trauma, the kid still has to be taught how to handle their emotions.

Bad parenting can lead to poor mental health. Fixing the bad parenting won't undo the damage done to the child's mental health. That's why this gets so tricky and why kids stay damaged even if a parent changes their ways.

Excellence's picture

It's quite possible for kids this age  to have serious mental health diagnosis. You should bring them in for an assessment. SS and SD has had diagnosis of panic disorder, anxiety, depression, and PTSD since they were ages 11. BM is great at making sure everyone knows about the skids medical issues. 90% of her time is spent at kids' medical visits and seeking various diagnosis for her kids. They are on a million different kinds of medications for mental health issues.

Rags's picture

Kids this age with legitimate issues are far from the norm and at most are a comparatively rare exception.

Problems are not resolved by artificially forcing a kid into a crisis category that is not legitimate in that kid's case.

 

--figureditout--'s picture

My bios are 15 and 17 boys. Neither of them has had a screaming crying tantrum since 5 or 6. My oldest has a temper and was a pencil snapper. Those days are few and far between as he knows he is full grown man sized. Both boys follow our lead and go to their rooms to simmer down, then come talk to one of us.

SD23 was the tantrum queen. Self injury. Suicidal ideation. Stealing. Lying. Full blown fits with items thrown. She was diagnosed bipolar at 18.

 

Excellence's picture

Same. My DD is 14. She has never had a screaming tantrum either. SD15 and SS13 do it all the time. It's so embaressing. They scream in public, run away, cry, turns red faced, hits people in public, fusses in restaurants, whines, complains etc. so embaressing.

Rags's picture

Excuse and esteem based parenting fails children.  Standards based parenting builds confident kids who are high performers with the best chance of becoming viable adults.  

 

 

tog redux's picture

The best thing to do is to seek a consultation with the PCP or with a therapist. They can give you an idea of what is what.