Heartbroken and overwhelmed
My husband was the love of my life. I was 48 when I finally said 'I do' for the first time in 2018. I left an amazing well paying job in Japan to marry him in the states. I have 1 daughter 14. He has 2 sons 14 and 16 and 1 daughter 9.
When we got married both sons and my daughter lived with us. Fast forward 11 months... SS 14 wants to move in with BM that lives in another stat . Then, he starts coming on to my daughter. She shows us a text of him asking to come down to her room after parents are in bed. We talk to him to stop creeping out his stepsister. It's weird ...blah blah. He stops. Check in with daughter daily. It has stopped. There is tension between them. They don't talk. He moves in with BM end of Dec 2019.
Jan 2020, other stepson gets text from girl at school asking why his brother was hitting on my daughter. My husband is FURIOUS with my daughter. She has ruined his sons reputation and he will never want to live with him again. He yells at my daughter saying this.
Daughter starts acting strange. Comes out that he didn't just do that one text. He had been going downstairs and creeping out her out for a couple of weeks. She would find him in her bedroom after school, he tried touching her, showing inappropriate sexual memes and videos between steps.
Now daughter doesn't understand why she's the one in trouble when she didn't do anything wrong.
Fast forward to Feb 2020.....my daughter tries to commit suicide. She is screaming don't touch me...it happened right there.....why am I in trouble again?
Take her to hospital, she is diagnosed with PTSD and major depression.
Now husband wants divorce. He sees situation as impossible. I want to talk it out through family counseling but since ss is with BM in another state hubby says it is impossible. My daughter doesn't ever want to see 14 year old SS again. Ever. Can't say I blame her.
I have moved all my stuff downstairs and am living with my daughter. Her mental health is a mess. I am a mess. There's a pandemic going on.
I feel betrayed. I took those vows seriously. For better, for worse, sickness and health.......this is the worse part, the sickness part and my daughter and I are thrown to the curb. There was no trying, no therapy, no family discussions.....he just gave up that easy.
Just breaks my heart.
What do I do now? Daughter will need years of therapy to work through this. I am on my husbands insurance. We divorce and that leaves my daughter and I struggling financially, unable to seek medical help till I get job with insurance.....and like that can happen with a pandemic going on. I feel lost, overwhelmed, angry, sad and compassionate for all sides. I love my hubby....I don't want a divorce. But, my daughter is my priority. Her healing, her mental health. If hubby doesn't want to help in that process other than to leave. ...then well.....he's right. It's over.....cause he won't even try.
Thank you for letting me rant.