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O/T My Mother

secondplace's picture

I don't blog very much, but I am on here most days.  I need some advice and support and I thought I would start here.

My mother has been feeling somewhat ill the last month or so.  Severe constipation and not wanting to eat.  She went to the walk-in clinic a couple times and went to emergency on Saturday.  They gave her an enema and sent her home.  On Sunday, she called me and said "I'm sick".  DH and I rushed over there.  She was somewhat confused, not even able to get herself dressed.  I called 911 and an ambulance took her to the hospital immediately.  They sent her for emergency surgery.  She had a perforated bowel, which basically exploded because of a large obstruction.  The large obstruction was a tumour.  They also found another very large tumour on her liver.  They removed the whole large bowel and sent her for a second surgery to clean out her insides.  

As of today, she is stable, but they still haven't woken her up. They tried yesterday, but she was flailing about and very agitated, so they upped her sedation again.

My mother is not a positive person.  She is very nice and will do anything for anyone (she's always the person who brings the birthday cake into work etc.), but I know she is not going to take this well when they give her the news.

Does anyone have any ideas?  How to talk to her so she can at least have some hope?  

This has been a rough few days and I know it's just going to get worse.  My mom is 77 years old.  Her mother lived to 93, so I think that's what she had in mind for herself.

Comments

Kes's picture

Sorry to hear about this.  Your mother has got a lot to come to terms with - from being fit and well, to suddenly not - and being told you have several large tumours which as there were several I'm assuming have spread and are cancerous?   Personally, I would suggest that you offer to contact any relevant support organisations on her behalf - if she is OK with this. It's always easier to cope with something if you have support from people who have already been in that situation - we know this very well from StepTalk!  not the same thing - of course - but the same principle of like minded support. 

secondplace's picture

Thanks Kes.  She hasn't woken up since Sunday - they are still keeping her sedated.  I really fear for her state of mind when she finds out.

Ursula's picture

So sorry to hear this.  Can you ask for the hospitals palliative care team?  They can help both you and your mom.  

Thumper's picture

((((HUGS)))))

I am so sorry to read about your Mother.

There is a social work task force at most hospitals who are trained to guide you.

I am soooooooooooo sorry.