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Jcksjj's picture

So someone commented on my last blog about boundary stomping SIL "is she trying to be the childrens new stepmom?" I'm pretty sure it was jokingly, but that could legitimately be what is going on.

SIL and FIL are both dumber than average, but they are experts on everything. Example: SILs new boyfriend asked DH what he does for work. When he started to tell him about his job (in management), SIL interrupted him and started going on and on about what it takes to be a good manager and giving DH advice on it. SIL has very little work experience at all, and zero in management or in DHs field.

I noticed awhile back that SIL had started posting things about being a stepmom and what it means to be a good stepmom and so on. Also started referring to herself as a mom of 3 (including bfs daughter). Which I found odd, because shes been with her boyfriend less than a year and he only sees his daughter once a month because she lives far away. So she barely even knows the kid. 

So actually it's not that far out there of an idea that she could have decided she is the ultimate stepmom and is going to be one to SD too. Would make sense why she asked to have SD one weekend a month from BM (when BFs daughter is up here). All I can say is good luck to her, because SD doesnt seem all that enthused about going to SILs on her moms weekends. And I know how it worked out for me trying to be inclusive of SD with the other kids. 

Comments

Siemprematahari's picture

Let SIL have fun with it. She doesn't want to stay in her lane....well she can handle all the BS that comes with SD. One less weekend to worry about and no sweat off your H's back. 

 

Jcksjj's picture

I wish she was taking her on our weekends...but shes taking her on BMs. And excluding our kids from the "cousins" events in order to accommodate having SD there instead. Plus in some ways dragging BM back into our lives more when DH is very low contact and parallel parenting. We rarely change the schedule unless its something big - a big trip or funeral or something. Now SIL is trying to intervene in that so BM and SD are involved in everything. Because you know, that her decision. I pretty much feel like at this point if we have anything going on family was on a non SD weekend, SIL is probably going to show up with them to it 

I agree with the rest though. SIL has said multiple times she never wanted kids and hers were both unplanned, she cant handle them and screams at them constantly, plus any time in the past that shes had SD on our time she complained that she fought with her kids the whole time. So I'm sure this well turn out well.

Simpleton21's picture

This is actually comical to me.  Okay, then spend extra time with a very unlikeable child.  Have at it.  I think this will blow up in SIL's face eventually and that will be fun to watch Wink

Survivingstephell's picture

Have cousin days without SD then.  You said she was dumber than average, if so then outsmart her.  It shouldn't be that hard.  You do you and have fun with it.  When they start acting smarter and know it alls, ask them questions to bare their ignorance.  Do it everytime.  Engage them in a discussion about said topic and go deeper with it.  Trust me, they will get stuck eventually, pause and give up.  It takes a lot less energy to do this than get all worked up into a angry ball of stress.  

As they walk away, you just slyly smile knowing you won.  

Jcksjj's picture

The only other cousins on his side that live by us are SILs kids, so hard to do cousin things really. We do with my nephew on my side though. And she wont be getting invited to any of our kids stuff anymore. 

That's funny what you said about asking questions because I said the exact same thing to DH about his dad the other day regarding politics. He loves going on and on and on about his hatred toward certain groups of people and politicians. I told him the best way to get people like that to shut up usually is to start asking for specifics.