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Just giving the update since so many comments

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

No bottle of wine getting just yet, ladies Wink hahha .... just figured I would post a blog giving the update since many of you had commented on my post and were probably curious of the outcome so please see below

BM wanted to go see her sister because she leaves to move to a foreign country for 2 years. BM claims she just found out and leaves ASAP. We don't really believe her on just "finding out," but also at the same time, we don't care if it is true or not true. So BM was asking because she wanted to go see her for a week before her sister left and due to her work schedule she would be gone on bf's time.

So how the exchange went: Bf told BM that no he would not give up his time with his daughter especially on his first week. He told her she could leave to see her as soon as he picks up his daughter, but he is not giving up his time or adjusting the schedule. BM said well you could pick her up a few days early then. Bf and I will be gone on our trip on the other side of the country then, so bf told her no, I cannot pick her up early and I am not giving up my time so you will have to wait to leave until pick up. BM tried the whole well I want her to see her aunt before she leaves and how her work schedule does not allow her to go before then, etc. Bf told her, it's not my problem and I don't care. So points for bf.

As for the birth certificate, bf told BM that he would not give BM's older daughter's birth certificate to her because she has had almost 4 months to get a new one and legally she has to get her daughter a new one, so he is not going to allow her to use an incorrect one even if it is "to just register her for school" that it is her responsibility to handle all that. Then BM says "I don't care, I already have older child's birth certificate. (so either BM is lying or she just didn't want bf to have any of her daughter's paperwork, we don't know and are not going to waste time and energy on the subject).

As for bf's daughter's birth certificate and social security card, bf told her no he will not give up the originals he has that BM needs to go take the appropriate steps to attain these and that she should of done this a long time ago. Bf has had these in his possession for 2 years now, but BM has not done anything to get herself them. BM said "I promise I will give them right back" which we ALL know will not happen, so no BM, not a chance.

BM did not throw nearly as much of a fit as she did on Friday at pick up, I don't know if it because she realizes my bf does not care about this whole poor me routine and that he is not going to budge, or what, but at least both things are now squashed and I am counting down the days until our trip on Friday. 

Thanks for all the advice on the topic, bf and I mutually agreed on those decisions and he carried it out, so that made me very happy. Also, bf and I had a talk about how we agreed we will never do any favors for BM. Bf's daughter is always welcome in our home and we will do what we need to do for her to meet her needs, but there is no for "his daughter" favors or anything that benefits BM ever. Bf has never pulled any of that and I didn't think he ever would, but we had an open and honest talk about the court order and moving forward and bf and I are on the same page, 100%. So until next time step-talkers :) 



Siemprematahari's picture

Your BF maintains his stance and doesn't waiver. He doesn't give in to BM's nonsense and you have been a great support in assisting him with all this craziness. Enjoy your much needed time away.

Onward and upward!

Mandy45's picture

Yeah sometimes you just got to nip these BM in the butt. Just say  NO No No Otherwise they carry on like a second wife. It not the child dh supporting but it the bm too. It may take awhile but bm will get the message sooner or later as long as dh keeps it up. But good on him for taking a stand so far.