New poster here and am hoping to gain some insight from all of you Have been with my partner for a little over a year now. His now ex-wife (divorce was only finalized a few weeks ago) always stated she did not want the children meeting any new partners until the divorce was finalized. I agreed. I thought it was good not to throw too much at the children. I am also a product of divorced parents and know this dynamic can be a delicate situation. I also always wanted to meet his ex-wife prior to meeting the children because I thought it was the appropriate and respectful thing to do.
Towards the end of October, my partner found out through his daughter that the mother's new boyfriend had been spending the night. This totally caught us off guard as it seemed the previous understanding had been thrown out the window. My partner and I also found it unsettling that a strange man was sleeping over with his 2 small children. We immediately asked for everyone to meet. We thought it would be best for everyone to know who was around the children, and I could meet the ex as well. It seemed obvious and proper coparenting to me. We were met with total resistance from the ex. The secrecy seems totally off to me. And the fact that a mother wouldn't be interested in meeting who will be around her kids? I just don't get it.
I am also confused now as to when it is best for me to meet the children. How much change should they be exposed to in under a year? Any insight would be helpful. Thanks!