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Monthly Child Support Countdown - Holiday Edition!

Petronella's picture

Sorry folks I missed Dec 1st as was too busy putting up Christmas decorations! But I did remind DH to be sure to send whatshername the December Child Support that day. He told me to remind him again at 11:59 pm that night, LOL ! 

Actually, since the skid in question is now 18 and we have been informed by said skid, that she is now AN ADULT, I am now referring to this monthly handout as Adult Support. AS. Has a nice ring to it! 

Anyway, there are now only ELEVEN (11) AS payments left for us! eeee getting so close! 

This time next year will be the first 1st of the month where NOTHING needs to be sent to BM! That will be a day of much celebration!

How is everyone else's CS countdown going? Share your number, if you can bear to!


Siemprematahari's picture

My H no longer has child support but when it ended we went out and celebrated. It was such an amazing feeling and what a relief it was. It was many years that my H didn't know what it felt like to have his entire pay check and now he's enjoying it to the fullest.

So congrats to you, those 11 months will fly by before you know it and you can also celebrate this new milestone Biggrin


tog redux's picture

I can't wait. But it's less about the money than about having NO MORE LEGAL TIES TO BM!!!

Petronella's picture

The extra money to put toward retirement will be wonderful, but so true, it's more about being DONE with BM! 

CLove's picture

BUT! Good news is that only 4 months to go for Spousal Support!!!! We will celebrate for sure when March is here. That will have been 3 years and 11 months.

The toxic troll is moving a little farther away, this month, so THATS awesome. Biggrin

Its the little things.

Petronella's picture

Ugh, Spousal Support is the worst! I can't believe you put up with it for 4 years! I wouldn't have dated DH for four DAYS if he'd been paying spousal support! 

Gimlet's picture

DH's ended in June of this year.  The very nicest part of it is that there is now ZERO reason he has to interact with BM.   

She tried to get him to "talk about the boys" when it was close to ending and he shut that down real fast, lol.  She never wanted to talk about them before, too late now!

Petronella's picture

"talk about the boyssszzzzz" haha nice try, BM!

And congratulatiolns to you guys! Does it feel as though you have more money available now?

Gimlet's picture

He put it all toward his retirement fund.  We learned to live without it so it made sense to save it.  

We did have a nice dinner though!  Not too much longer for you! 

Petronella's picture

That's our exact plan - add it to the retirement contributions. Since God knows those skids will be nowhere to be found when Daddee is old and doesn't have the same income anymore. 

SM12's picture

Only 11 more on MSS and 6 years left for YSS 

that just depressed me

Petronella's picture

11 more MONTHs for MSS? That's pretty good! 

When we went from 2 kids down to 1, it was a big help!

Booboobear's picture

You will make it!!  it will be nice when its over! its been 11 years since CS came from our household. SO NICE!!

Booboobear's picture

there can be lots of time for freedom of your income left when CS is over, but you might have to start from square one.  we hit rock bottom twice. three times if you count the mess of debt that BM left DH with. we worked our way out of the financial mess together.  CS is good because it was a limit and not expenintal growth of spending that BM was previously doing with DH's income.   DH and I would be happy living in the back of a pickup truck as long as we have each other.  there is light at the end of the tunnel!  

futurobrillante99's picture

Congratulations!! Here's hoping you luck out and the skid emancipates early! LOL

Petronella's picture

Oh that is the dream!!! However considering the sibling is now 21 and no end in sight to living with Mommy, I'm not holding my breath for this 18yo to launch anytime in the next year. To be fair, we live in a very high COL area. 

strugglingSM's picture

Four years and six months until SSs graduate from high school. Assuming they graduate, the CS payments should end, but I'm not sure what we would have to pay after that. At this right, neither SS should enroll in college, but if BM is anything like the BM in my cousin's life, she will insist that SSs both "enroll" in college classes to keep the gravy train rolling. 

At the last mediation, BM underreported her income (she "didn't have" information related to her partnership bonus for the year), so DH could request a revision based on that. We need to surprise her with that, thought, because in addition to "not having" information on her bonus income, she also had more deductions taken out of her pay to lower her monthly take-home. Her lawyer delayed the necessary six months to allow her to increase her deductions. 

DH has already told her that as soon as SSs turn 18, he doesn't plan on ever talking to her again. I know that's a pipe dream, because SSs will still have events that DH would like to go to, but both SSs have been pretty PA'd and also BM is constantly asking for shows of loyalty from them, so maybe DH won't be invited to graduations, weddings, etc. I wouldn't be sad...DH might, but I wouldn't. 

Petronella's picture

Ugh, yes, nonselective local community colleges are the BEST FRIEND of a BM looking to keep the gravy train a-rolling! 

BM here was"self-employed" for a long time and God knows what her income really was. She didn't file taxes for several years, which I thought wasn't legal but what do I know. Her "business" probably didn't earn much and it didn't even matter -  as long as the kids lived with her full-time, her income was not taken into account when determining CS. 

Well I hope your DH doesn't get snubbed from graduations and weddings and stuff, he doesn't deserve that! If he does end up at an event where BM is also at, it's not that hard to keep the interaction with BM to the bare minimum!

thinkthrice's picture

of "child" aka matriarchy support then

36 months of adult support

hopefully he will rebel and bolt before that to Pumpkinhead's place!

Petronella's picture

36 months of adult support

That is one of the saddest things I've ever read on this site! 

I always wonder about these 19 and 20-year old CODs in NY State - they're out there working full time (some of them), they're having boyfriends and girlfriends (most of them)...what would their friends, employers and lovers think if they knew that in the eyes of the State, the CODs are still little CHILLLLLdreeeeeeeen whose Daddee's are still responsible for paying their Mommees to feed them? What do these adult CODs think of THEMSELVES? I look back at my 20yo self, and I'd have been embarassed if I'd known that my dad was still sending my mom a cheque for me every month! 

Petronella's picture

I wonder about that. My adult SKs were quite aware that the gravy train was still rolling. If they felt any embarassment about that they kept it well hidden from us! 

You really think your SS is unaware that your DH is still sending BM money?

tog redux's picture

I don't know. A lot of these BMs tell the kid the father is a deadbeat who refuses to pay.

My SS is living at home with BM, not working and plays video games all the time.  I doubt that his mother still getting child support would be shameful to him.

Petronella's picture

A lot of these BMs tell the kid the father is a deadbeat who refuses to pay. 

Very true! I'm so glad my DH always made it very clear to his kids that he was sending their mother money for them every single month and he didn't want to hear a single word denying or minimizing that. 

thinkthrice's picture

The Gir has told all three of the ferals that Chef didn't pay a red cent.  Just like the lie Battleaxe Galactica (BM's BM) told the Gir that she didn't receive any CS either.

Booboobear's picture

save every last canceled CS check forever.  There may be some day that you are faced with non payment of CS charges, decades later. or even after a funeral.

Petronella's picture

DH doesn't pay by cheque thank goodness, just by electronic transfer directly to BM. He can go into his bank records anytime to show proof of payment, amounts, dates, what it was for., proof that she accepted and deposited the payment. Totally agree - those are vital records that need to be kept forever! 

Booboobear's picture

Thats good that that there is record, but I would print a hard copy right now, just in case the bank is bought out by another bank and they dont keep records, and put in file box.  or if something happens and the bank freezes the account and then Someone goes after an estate for back CS payment.

thinkthrice's picture

i have saved every paystub from Chef for the last 15 + years

SMto2's picture

It's been 4 1/2 years since DH made his last CS payment, but oh how I remember counting down for well over a decade! I would count months to go and then, as it got closer, I'd count payments (which were bimonthly.) I was SO relieved and happy when it was over. It was like a dream. It was so awesome that I'm still in awe of it now, this many years later. However, if I could go back, I would have just tried to enjoy my life more, safe in the knowledge that it would one day end, rather than stressing over it. Easier said than done. ha ha ha.  

Booboobear's picture

If you want make it funner, count up all the months in the future that BM will get to live WITHOUT CS, (estimating life expectancy)

Livingoutloud's picture

We still had few years of spousal support left to pay but it abruptly ended with BM dying (that’s another story all in itself) this past summer. She still wasn’t working so DH worried she’d get alimony extension otherwise what would she live on, she was too young for SS and never wanted to work. 

She applied for disability but was denied twice, well because she isn’t disabled, you know actually have to be disabled to ask for disability. Roll my eyes. We expected she’d ask for increase in spousal support when it was over but she instead died. So no spousal support. 

Justshootme's picture

We're down to 5 payments left. Bratling graduates and turns 18 in the same month, so there's no question as to when it will end! Dance 4