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MayCorine85's picture

Hi everyone! Do all DH act so differently when their DD/DS come around? My DH just complete throws rules and order out the window and it just gets harder and harder each week. My SD comes over this weekend and takes my twins toys out of order, sleeps till 2, doesnt clean up at all and then my DH claims she supppse to be babysitting but all SD did was play on the computer. My DH never forces the issue and it just frustrates me. I have tried to just not engage at all, but its hard when it cause my anxiety to kick in because the house is just out of order. I wish I could just say it to my husband but I doubt he even would understand. My whole life is so over the place and I just need my house to stay clean and in order somewhat. 

ndc's picture

No, my DH does not do that.  Without a doubt my house is more chaotic and messier when the skids are with us.  There's more laundry to do, more dishes to wash, and more mess to clean up, for sure, but my DH doesn't just allow his kids to run amok.  Have you tried asking your husband to clean up after his daughter?  Why should that fall on you?  If he can't make her clean up after herself, he should clean up after her.  

If you can't say anything to your husband about this, or don't want to because he won't understand, then your marriage has communication issues.  It might be wise to deal with those first.

tog redux's picture

The only part I'd quibble with is her not cleaning up. If she wants to sleep until 2 and be on her computer all the time, then great,  she's out of her your hair.

(But no, my DH did not let SS run amok, though he's among the few on this board that didn't).

Rags's picture

If she is baby sitting shut down the WiFi.  She does nothing unless she immediately picks/cleans up after herself.  Inform DH that these are the absolute rules and if he won't enforce them... you will. If he does not like how you do that, he can step up and get it done before you have to.

For some reason people pussy foot around these types of issues rather than confronting them head on then spend countless hours/days/years being miserable rather than setting the zero tolerance condition and blasting the behavioral violations that occur with ill behaved children.

Keep it simple. Make it painful for both SD and DH when SD pulls her crap and DH ignores it.

MayCorine85's picture

What are yall thoughts on Christmas and bad behavior? My SD has been in trouble weekly this school year and has even had to be escorted out of school at times, plus threatened teachers. The past month or so no issues. My DH has been buying things here and there for her while her mom says she doesnt get anything and I almost agree that SD only needs maybe one thing. Has anyone else had issues like this?

Rags's picture

I am with BM on this one.  SD has earned nothing, she gets nothing other than a card that clearly outlines her behavioral violations and the message that crappy behavior is never going to be rewarded.

She can participate in the feasting and festivities but gets zero gifts other than an appointment with a boot camp therapist who will make her life a living hell as she is led kicking and screaming through the process of confrontation of and correction of her behaviors.  

If she plays any bullshit during the holidays she is removed from polite company to an isolated room where her toxic presence is away from polite company.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Until she pulls her head out of her ass.

Thisisnotus's picture

My DH does this. Skids have no rules and he acts so weird when they are around.....I try to avoid him/them....b/c it drives me bonkers and makes me not want to be around him.