You are here

What do you do if parent will not release child on custody time?

Stepmom26745294's picture

DH does not have a CO. We are working on it. They do have a written signed agreement legal binding agreement though. So, HCBM is coming unglued right now because DH has out boundaries in place and she's pissed that she's losing control.  She has tried everything to get him to comply to her insanely wildly unreasonable demands so we think next she's going to withhold the children. Without a CO there's not much he could do so what would his steps be to assure she doesn't keep his kids from him? 

tog redux's picture

It's different in every state. You can look it up on the Internet and get the forms there, but at least here, they are fairly complicated - they don't make it easy (here) to go Pro Se (without any attorney) for custody issues.  I'd advise consulting an attorney, at least initially, and especially because you don't have a formal CO.

Again, though - every state is different, so do some research to find out what your state requires. 

In the short term, get proof that DH showed up to pick them up and she refused (emails or texts or voicemail). 

Stepmom26745294's picture

She's changing weekends in the kids calendar they share. She feels she can go against their contract when things don't go her way. It's not a CO but it is a legal binding contract. Not the same I know but wow!!  This is insanity. 

Petronella's picture

How is their piece of paper a legal binding contract? Why didn't they get a CO like everyone else? 

I suspect there's not much your DH can do other than document carefully and file for real custody and child support orders as soon as possible. Possibly their contract can be used as the basis of the real CO.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

How is it legally binding? Is it an agreement they drew up? Was it approved by the court and attached to the divorce paperwork? If not, it is probably not legally binding. If it is, he can file for contempt. He should follow whatever is in the paperwork and docutment that he showed up and she didn't bring the kids. Do this a couple of time and then file the paperwork.

Stepmom26745294's picture

In our state you can make a separation agreement. It's legally binding and filed with court when divorce is final. If it's incorporated then it's a CO. If not, it's simply filed. They can sue each other for breech of contract but that's about it. 

Rags's picture

He needs to be smarter than she is. He goes and picks up his kids from school early on the days originally set for him  to have his kids.

He drops them off at his discretion at a location where there are people, though in compliance with their agreement.  If she freaks out there will be witnesses.

Two can play the game.  It behooves the one who responds to play a much harsher game than the one who initiates to get the initiator quivering and deliver the clear message that bullshit will be met with pain.

IMHO of course.

He needs to get off of his ass and get a CO.


Stepmom26745294's picture

Well she was much smarter then him when they made the agreement. He was depressed as she cheated and he was side swiped. He just let her have whatever she wanted because she promised to be fair and flexible. He didn't want to be the "bad guy trying to get back at his cheating wife" Ugh!! 
So, his custody time doesn't start until 5:30 and agreement says he picks up from her house. So he can't get them from school of course. He is kicking himself. He was not in the right frame of mind back then. 

we are trying to get a CO but courts are backed up for like a year according to our attorney. He also has shared legal custody and scared they will give her legal custody since she's had them more and was the primary caretaker. It's not just that easy to go run and get a CO. We wish! 

tog redux's picture

Joint legal custody is standard in most states, they won't give her sole custody.  He shouldn't worry about that.  What he should worry about is her using the kids as weapons and convincing them to lie for her in court about him. 

tog redux's picture

Well, if his only other option is to continue to let her control everything, he has to decide which one he can live with. 

Stepmom26745294's picture

I know! We are not letting her control anymore. That's why she's so out of her mind right now. If we continue to not do as she demands, she might try to withhold the children. We are standing our ground though so preparing for this possibly and trying to plan ahead.