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Looking for suggestions on sd17

Chmmy's picture

Anyone who reads my blogs knows how I feel about  sd17. She's awful to live with, manipulative, mean, a user, Im literally afraid of being alone with her because anyone who gets in her way she tries to take down. Usually it is verbal abuse but since I didnt back down, Im not sure what next. I have a teaching certificate so allegations of abuse could ruin me.

Last night DH woke me out of a sound sleep at approx 815pm because he hadn't heard from SD since 738pm. Because I was in a sound sleep I thought it was later and not 30 mins since her last text. A little over the top but when his texts went undelivered because the phone was off, he called her work and they said she left. She said she was working late in her last message and then turned off her phone to block him from using location on her and went to meet some 20 yr old guy she works with. Mr Loser has a live in girlfriend but had taken a liking to sd17. Now the manipulator is being manipulated. Karma! Sd17 works with this man & his 20 year old girlfriend.  They are all "friends ". This attests to the character of sd17. Shes fukin around with her friends man. Everyone at her work is close. Obviously a little too close.

DH was going to take the car away for punishment of lying about being at work and shutting down the phone to hide her location. This just means DH has to drive her ass around as well as the little ones who have basketball and school events etc. Anyone have a better punishment that will not affect us as much but punish sd? We want her to work and do her clinicals which are offsite from the high school so not driving her places is not an option. 

The best punishment would be Mr Loser getin busted for his affair with sd and it getting out at work. Sd wil be ostracized from the work place for being the other woman. She might know what its like ro be the bad guy like me. She tries to turn everyone against me and I never did anything but marry her dad many years after the divorce. 

Anyway punishment suggestions? 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Why is he following a 17-year-old's movements so closely?  Just give her a curfew and if she's not home, car is gone.

(I go to bed at 8 or so too, and I get up at 6!)

Chmmy's picture

They all have location on their phone for safety but he doesn't really use it. She was supposed to get off at 7 and texted later to say she was working late so he wouldnt worry. If she works late or goes out she just sends a msg. She could have just said Im going out for food and he would have said ok. When he text back and the text was undelivered & he called went straight to voicemail and then called work. He said he felt like something was wrong so he panicked. There must have  been something she said or did that he thought was off. Like I said sound asleep 

Chmmy's picture

I feel like we always know where the kids are but we don't really know what they're doing.

tog redux's picture

But that's part of being a teen - personally, I think part of why they stay young so much longer is that parents micromanage their every move.

That being said, if he doesn't trust her to come straight home from her job, she shouldn't be allowed to drive there.

Chmmy's picture

Thats the weird thing is she isnt required to come home. She made up this lie that she was working late when she could have said Im getting something to eat and not get busted. Its the lie & the sneak that got her in trouble 

BethAnne's picture

Sometimes parenting is hard work and you have to be punished along with the kid. 

You could make her walk, ride a bicycle, get public transport, take uber/taxis  (paid out of her wages) or rides with friends. 

How do other people without cars travel around you? 

Chmmy's picture

Suburbs, not much public transit. Uber maybe. Bikes or walking not safe for the nights she works til 10 or 11. I guess um looking for something effective yet practical. Im at a loss.

BethAnne's picture

To be honest at 17 I would just lay the guilt on thick and not bother with an actual punishment. She is almost an adult. I would just have her dad describe his panic and explain why he wants to know where she is and that she is almost old enough to do what she wants but that he will still worry about her and that lies make it worse. He would prefer honesty and uncomfortable truths to panic and worry when lies are uncovered.