It seems I have greatly misjudged the size of that straw
Maybe I need a bigger camel?
I'm stuck feeling some sort of way about BM walking into our house recently. I'm not sure how to process. I don't know if this is a vent, if I'm looking for advice or commiseration. Fair warning, I am long winded. Having said that, I'm going to let 'er rip.
The not so Cliffs Notes:
50/50, elementary aged SSs. CS from SO to BM. SO & BM have been divorced for the entirety of YSSs existence on this earth. I came on the scene well after they'd divorced (finalized) and were living separate lives. Skids do not know or remember their parents together. SO & I are beyond the itch year and at this point have been together nearly as long as their less than 10 year marriage. Old news.
BM struggles with, well a lot of things from what I can tell, but I digress. She seems to find it extremely difficult to accept my existence in general, let alone my place in SOs & SSs lives. This is not new. In fact, it is often times a source of amusement and oddly enough, empathy. Over the years, we've packed lots and lots of straws of various weights, offenses and intensities onto my camel.
Note: My camel is a bad @$$. Nothing slows camel down. Nothing weighs on camel. Camel is hard core.
Midway through the week long stretch the off parent has a couple hour visit. Visiting parent both picks up and drops off. This is the only turf presence, all other exchanges are at school. BM is typically in the entry way for her turn because there is somehow always some info to relay (read: no there isn't).
During a recent visit BM took it upon herself to walk into our house. I am stuck in my feels about it. And quite surprised by that fact. Super icky feeling.
SO was outside doing yard work when BM returned SSs. They ran into the house, grabbed their gloves and ran back outside across the front of the house (and the driveway) to SO.
After the boys had made it back outside, BM lumbers through our front door yelling for OSS. I was still in the house dealing with the dogs, who were less than amused by the intrusion.
In typical BM fashion, she forced herself through the great pain that is speaking to me through thinly veiled disdain. OSS left a box of who knows what on her broom.
Later when I had rejoined SO and BM had removed her pleasant self from the vicinity, I commented to SO that he was going to be in trouble for not warning BM. Y'know, that I was, shockingly, in my own house. He had no clue.
Apparently, she'd not so much as acknowledged him let alone barked at him or received permission to put the crap in the house. Really, this is not unexpected or out of the ordinary for BM - she's a clown. A sad, sad clown. He has already addressed how inappropriate she was. He didn't hesitate. Nor did I have to suggest or ask him to.
And yet my poor camel appears to be down for the count. I've unpacked everything I can think of in the days and weeks since. I'm not sure how to get him back up. He just can't seem to do it. I don't know what else I can do for him. I am on the hunt for another camel.
Anyone else ever surprised by the last straw?