SD going down wrong path
Hey everyone. I'm hoping someone will have some advice on a positive way to turn this around.
My 12-year-old SD was given an used cell phone by her mom. SD was in trouble last year for Googling male parts on her last phone, so we took it away. BM claims that we aren't being fair with SD and should give her a chance. Says she's been working hard to show we can trust her. DH and I told BM we don't agree with SD having a phone because of last time, and we especially don't agree with her having a SnapChat and Instagram account. BM set it up anyway.
So, we took SD's phone and installed tracking software before giving it back to her. Best way to proove she's on the up and up!
Yeah... the very next day, we checked the spy software. She sent photos of her butt to males, referring to those she texted as n*gga, and having conversations about virginity like how she's planning on losing it this year.
DH and I have already been concerned with the music she listens too (explicit lyrics), the way she wants to dress (we don't let her), and the people she idolizes (violent, drug-using criminals that abuse women... that just happen to be popular because they are singers/athletes).
Before coming to live with us at the age of 10, SD lived in a crappy, crime-ridden little town with a mom that didn't care for her well being. SD teeth were very bad because BM would rather get a tattoo and BM would drop SD off at the Boys and Girls club so she could go do whatever with one of her several hook-ups. BM also let SD dress however, and watch/listen to whatever.
The advice we need is how do we help her to correct this in a positive way so she grows into a smart young lady not some trashy little skank?
We know that the harder we come down on her about this, the more she's going to try to resist/rebel. How do we help her see the path she's going down and what it could lead to?