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Anxiety plus!

DM0416's picture

Anxiety, heart palpitations, chest pain, high BP, blurred vision, crying, depression, headache, upset stomach, weight loss, severe muscle tension, the list goes on and on.. 

How do you deal with these physical signs of anxiety and depression? 

It is SO much worse when SS11 is around. I have SO much tension built up that I think I may burst. 

Now on antidepressants. Currently sitting in a hot bath trying to relax. May or may not be planning my escape. lol

Seriously though, how do you cope? 

Comments

blessedwithstress's picture

That hot bath is a good start. Exercise would be another good strategy. Channel those feelings into some cardio - a bike ride, kickboxing, a nice long run (preferably on the way to a coffee or donut shop). You're not alone. I've only recently come to realize that the laundry list of horrible things I feel (much like the one you listed above) can be classified as an axiety attack. And here I thought I was just pumped up on too much adrenaline! 

Try not to let that tension explode on the wrong person. It won't help if your pent-up rage is misdirected or ill-timed. But for the love of mercy, don't let it fester. That is a lesson I'M still learning. Get it out. This blog is a great platform for that. 

If things get worse when SS11 is around, try to find reasons to avoid each other, at least for a little while. Not that avoiding a problem is the answer but if you can manage to put some space between you and the problem, it could help you deal or at least give you some lead time to get your feelings under control before facing the problem head on.

You will be ok. ((hugs)) 

blessedwithstress's picture

Just read your other post...F*CK that noise. Leave NOW. If not for your own sake then for the sake of your biokids. Your skid is extremely abusive and needs serious help if he is doing all these disturbing things. That home is not safe for any of you and if your DH refuses to do take action, there is no hope for the relationship. 

Get out of there before that psycho skid REALLY hurts one of your children and save yourself a mountain of regret.

DM0416's picture

My kids are no longer around his child and haven’t been for quite some time. I also go to a friends house when his child comes over. I have given myself 1 month to save, get a job and move on. 

DM0416's picture

Exercise definitely is a BIG help! When so many emotions run through your mind every second of the day, it’s hard to channel it positively. I keep telling myself things will get better. One small step at a time. Smile

SteppedOut's picture

Seriously, how can you NOT be planning an exit? If it is that bad, then you need to. Long term this stress will have a devastating effect on your health...and length of your life. 

Seriously? Is staying with your man worth that? 

SteppedOut's picture

I just read your other post. You 100000% need to leave this abusive situation, not only for you, but your children as well. 

Want2's picture

Why do you try to “cope” with this abusive situation? I read through your previous post and all the responses and here’s what I think, you’re more worried about what the other family members think of you than you are about getting yourself out of the insanity.

Most of your posts reflect your concern with how you’re labeled and many concerns with the lack of judgment the SS seems to receive. Neither of these issues matter! You not modeling acceptance of this abuse to your own children matters far more but you don’t seem to think of that.

 You said your husband told you to leave if you’re so miserable. What are you waiting for? He is not suddenly going to say doh! I’m an abusive man raising an abuser gee maybe I better change that. Your in-laws aren’t suddenly going to start commiserating with you. BM isn’t going to find a magical disciplinary cure all that she overlooked before. You are still going to fail at convincing others that you aren’t the problem which is a fools errand anyway.

 You know what option you’re left with so stop focusing on what you can’t change and waiting for a heart attack to make your decision for you.

DM0416's picture

I am truly not worried about what others may think. However, when you’re a stay at home mom that has been out of the work force for quite some time, it takes some time to get things aligned for you to make that big step and move along. If I need a month or so to save enough money to get out, find a job, all while protecting my children in the process, that is just fine. The fact that I’m planning to take a huge step is enough stress on itself without the need for someone belittling me when I’m trying my best to make a tough transition go a little more smoothly. This isn’t easy on me. In fact, it will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I asked for coping strategies with MY stress and anxiety. I didn’t ask for someone to hound me on leaving or staying. I’ve made up my mind. Now I prepare and spring when I’m ready. 

Siemprematahari's picture

DMO416~ I think you have a good plan and hope all goes smooth for you during this next chapter in your life. No its not easy but nothing worth having ever is. You deserve your peace & sanity and glad that you are taking the necessary steps to make that happen. As far as coping you've had some good suggestions like exercise, hot bath, treat yourself to a spa, meditate, see a therapist if possible to give you tools and coping skills for your situation. Get all your ducks in a row and know that you got this and your future self will thank you.

Wishing you well!

DM0416's picture

Thank you! Your positivity is very much appreciated! Getting my ducks in a row is exactly what I have my mind set on. Some people do not realize that it takes time and planning. Like I said before, if it takes a month to plan and save.. and I’m keeping my children protected at all costs during that month, I do not see a problem. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Xanex.

Seriously. I take a very low dose of Xanex. I love those little pills. I keep some at work, some in my purse, some on my night stand. I have panic attacks, not as much as I used to, but there is no  way in hell I would ever give up those little suckers.  I had an insurance issue before DH and I got married and my insurance no longer covered my primary care doc. I had to switch and the new doc wouldn't give them to me. I get the lowest dose possible and usually 30 pills every 60-90 days. I am not an addict. I wound up being a cash patient at my old doctor until DH and I married and I switched insurances again. 

I love that they only last a few hours and they are out of your system. I love that they help me just enough to sleep at night when I can't. I love that they are low dose enough that if I have an attack at work, I pop a pill, go get a drink in the break roomand can be back at my desk and fine within 15 mins., I am not so exhausted that I NEED to sleep, I can keep on going. 

Aniki's picture

Frankly, you need to run like every demon from Hades is hot on your heels and you can feel their hot breath on the back of your neck. Seriously.

However, if you feel that you MUST stay for one more month... 

  • Talk to your doctor ASAP about some anxiety meds. Definitely something that works quickly (panic attacks)
  • Don't be around when the skids are there. Go to the gym or a park or zoo. 
  • Spend hours at the movie theater or window shopping at the mall.
  • Go to the tallest building and ride the elevator up and down, stopping at every floor.

 

Hon, life is too short for you to be so horribly miserable. {{hugs}}

BethAnne's picture

I know that you feel that you need time, but I might be tempted to work out a back up plan for if I had to absolutely leave today. What are the bare essentials I need to take with me, which friend/relative could put me up for a week or two while I keep saving up. Or perhaps contact a a shelter which could house you for a short while if you needed it or at least give you some advice. You might be sleeping on a couch but at least you will be out of there. You might have to go back for some stuff at a later date, but you would have what you need and can go back on your own terms when you are ready. Knowing that you could up and leave right now might help you to feel like you have options rather than being forced into staying for a little longer. 

Getting help and support from those around you will help you feel like you have a safety net. Go to your doctor and tell them you are dealing with these symptoms and that you are planning on leaving your abusive partner, tell a close friend or relative what is going on and seek advice from those who are knowledgeable about domestic abuse. There is help and support out there for you, but you have to do the hardest part first and open up about what is going on.