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This weekend and today

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

So this weekend was pretty good, have not received any word yet from my bf's attorney, but I am assuming that will happen today. He generally likes to put everything together in one email rather than sending one update at a time. We went to this beer and bourbon festival on Saturday and ran into one of bf's co-workers and his wife. Ended up afterwards getting a drink out at a bar with them. The wife, I really liked her and I found someone to totally relate to. She is his second wife, he has a daughter, and she went through a lot of what I am currently going through with her husband. I liked her in general, but it was definitely nice to talk to someone who does not just have sympathy for what you are dealing with, but actually has already gone through a very similiar situation and can relate to you on the matter. 

Yesterday, when my bf turned his phone back on (when we go out anymore he turns his phone off usually so BM drama doesn't infringe on our time together) BM texted and asked if my bf wants the kids monday - tuesday or if he would prefer friday - saturday. Bf asked what I thought and I said Monday - Tuesday because it gives less opportunity for her to back out or change plans on him. So this afternoon he will be picking the girls up from her. After he told her what time he would be there, BM asks to discuss plans for the upcoming future regarding the children so they can stop wasting time and money on attorneys and going to court. Bf ignored this text and luckily has not received anymore, but I know she will bring it up when he picks them up. Sorry b**** the time to discuss and avoid money on attorney's has passed. BM never taking responsibility as always, she is the reason we are at this point and in the court room. Yes, my bf did ask for sole custody for both kids and that hyped her up, but before that, he tried to discuss and negotiate with her, but she wanted sole or she wouldn't agree to anything else. My opinion? She is desperate and trying to still get her way any way she can. 

So anyway, at least we had a great weekend together and now we will get to see the kids today, hopefully hear from the attorney today too and just move this all forward.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Honestly? He should ask her what she's willing to agree to and he should accept joint custody with the NCP schedule. If she gets ridiculous, cut it off.

This isn't going to be solved through attorneys, they are ramping it up. And he won't end up with the CP schedule and could lose his older daughter.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

him seeing them barely. He said himself he will not pay for a child he won't hardly see that isn't biologically his. Me? I don't blame him for feeling that way it is bullshit. They have played this song and dance twice before for the same outcome of her saying I want x,y, and z and won't agree to anything else. He is tired of being f***ed over and time wasted, plus this bs games BM has been playing for 1.5 years. It is all games and lies, neither of us trust a word she says to try and see what she will agree to. Very much over it and not going to keep playing into her nonsense.

tog redux's picture

OK - I think he will end up paying anyway, and being the NCP, but if he wants to fight it out, that's what court is there for.

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

based on research on genetic testing and divorce, plus based on what the judge has said and his attorney. He may end up being the NCP for the younger child and paying support, but he isn't going to continued to get f***ed over for BM's mistakes and I don't think he should either. 

tog redux's picture

I hope it works out for you, I really do. But I've seen first hand how a determined BM can delay and thwart the court process.  She can probably drop the genetic testing and then proceed with trying to get a custody arrangement for both kids.  She can stonewall, and not get things done (as she's already doing), make false abuse allegations, etc.

Before my DH filed for divorce, he and BM had 50/50 and she let him take over lots of parenting stuff.  I realized later that's because she felt like she was in control of everything, but once he tried to make things legal, she fought it tooth and nail through the divorce and beyond.  Court really isn't set up for someone who truly doesn't want to settle, but wants to keep fighting.  If BM keeps your BF litigating endlessly, it stops him from moving on with you and keeps him focused on BM.