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Is this something to be concerned about?

how2step's picture

A woman has her ex husband over to her house to see his kids that he sees regularly. He brings her groceries and dinner. They exchanged friendly texts beforehand and they ended up having dinner together. She has been in a serious relationship for over a year with her partner and he was at work at the time. She never mentioned that her ex husband was over at her house nor the fact that they had dinner together when they talked that evening. Is this something to be concerned about?

readingandlearning's picture

Yes. She is hiding it for a reason. She’s probably still sleeping with her ex. 

tog redux's picture

From your posts, you keep asking this question in different ways. If it bothers you, then it's not OK.

hereiam's picture

Again, this is not the girl for you.

No matter how many times, how many ways, under however many different user names you ask this stuff, the answer is the same: this relationship is

Man, you are thick headed.

STaround's picture

She should not be hiding it from you.   She can talk to him on the phone if it involves kids. 

futurobrillante99's picture

You left out the part where, after the meal, they tell the kids daddy needs to help mommy hang a picture in her bedroom upstairs.


caitlinj's picture


Aniki's picture

You and newwtostepguy are dating sisters.

Dude. She's hiding it for a reason. I also believe she and the ex are still bouncing on each other.

susanm's picture

How many times are you going to ask the same question?  What answer are you looking for that you are not getting?  You are clearly not OK with the situation and they clearly do not give a rat's ass about your feelings.  Keep living with it and being miserable or tell them to have a nice life and move on.  Nothing is going to change.

Siemprematahari's picture

Is this something to be concerned about?

Lets see:

-Your GF is having her kids father over her home to see the kids (why isn't he picking them and seeing them else where)? Red Flag!

-He brings her groceries & dinner. Why? If they are not together none of this should be going down. Red flag!

-They exchanged friendly texts beforehand and they ended up having dinner together. If it's not about the kids what are they talking about that it's so "friendly"? Red flag!

-Partner is at work when this happens. Why did she NOT tell you about the dinner? How did you find out? Did you ask why she continues to play happy family with the X? Red flag!




susanm's picture

You forgot:

- I keep finding her good underwear in the hamper the next morning

- She has been especially interested in my work schedule

- The neighbors have been avoiding talking to me recently


Rags's picture

Reason for concern? Abso-frickin-lutely!  She is being sneeky therefore she has something to hide.  She never mentioned it.  Couples discuss their day.  They do not leave out "My X came over, brought food, we cooked and ate dinner together.". Nah!

Xs are Xs they are not casual dinner partners.  Whether they have spawned together or not.

Not only is this at best an emotional infidelity, it fucks their kid(s) up to the Nth degree.  Kids of divorced parents do not need the confusion of mommy and daddy playing happy couple when mommy &/or daddy are remarried or recoupled.

Your bride and her X are toxic to their kids and to their marriages to other people.

Just my thoughts of course.

Harry's picture

This is not right.  If she in a relationship with you the EX should not be in the house.  They should not be playing Happy Family.  Either this stops ASAP or you dump her 

I'm out's picture

I think you're at the point now where you need to stop and look at what you're doing. You are joining a forum under several different names and posting the same scenarios and questions over and over. This isn't really sane behaviour is it.

You are literally being driven crazy. But I have no advice because you ignore it all anyway and continue to get let yourself get crazier and crazier!

Sandybeaches's picture

Yes this is something to be concerned about.  I don't know your history but if I take just this post I would say what you described sounds more like a date.  If she didn't tell you about it how did you find out?  Just curious that could explain a lot in the story.