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Fast forward a month after mini wife leaves!

wyo_307205's picture

Okay, I wrote a discussion about a month ago on my bf's mini wife. So fast forward after she leaves and just like I figured he is wanting to cuddle up to me and be intimate with me more. Everything pretty much goes back to "normal". So then we are out to eat with some family friends and they have 4 kids 2 boys and 2 girls not that, that is irrelevant. But so we are all out to eat and he says something along the lines of going 4 wheeler riding and taking the 2 boys with him and I was like ok that's fine and your son can go with you as well. Well, then he went on to respond and say well I figured he would just stay with you while we went riding. I was like I figured I could get some peace and quiet in the house to myself and do some homework. I'm currently getting my bachelor's. Either way he turned it on me to make it like I didn't want to "watch" his son (the reason he didn't want to take him was that his son is in a cast). So that was the first thing that started to bother me. Well, then fast forward about 2 weeks we, unfortunately, found out that his dad has a mass on his brain. He says that it is better if I stay home with his son because his son doesn't need to be at the hospital all day and he doesn't want me to sit at his moms house all day with his son but rather I stay where we live with him while he goes on the other side of the country. He left last week and has barely had any communication with me at all even when I have texted him. I understand he is dealing with somethings but at this point, I kinda feel like I am just a glorified babysitter. I feel like I am being taken advantage of. I definitely don't feel like I am a gf. We live together, we have talked about marriage, and we have talked about getting a house together and I watch his son all the time even when he is gone for work. I don't get any time to myself and he has all these hunting and fishing trips planned for the fall and guess who gets to stay home and watch his son ME! I'm just frustrated and feel really unappreciated and I really don't know what to do other than just leave. Oh, and the boys mom is not in the picture but once a year around Christmas. Oh and another thing all summer I took care of his son and daughter (the mini wife). I just don't know what to do!

lieutenant_dad's picture

If you don't want to leave, just make plans and don't be there. Too bad if he has a fishing trip scheduled - should have asked you about your plans first. If he leaves you with his son after you already said you were leaving, I'd drop kid off at a family members house or call BF and tell him he can either come get his son or you'll call CPS to come get him - either way, you're not the hired help.

If he decides he wants to leave you over not being available at his back and call, let him walk. Not your kids, not your responsibility, not your problem. This is what happens when someone breeds with a loser parent - they become a VERY single parent.

Rags's picture

You know what to do. Re-read your post from the perspective of what you would tell a person making that post.  Then do that.

I suggest.... finding a day camp or drop in day care for the Skids. If SO is not available to care for his own kids while you study, etc.... he can pay for third party care for them.

No need for drama. Just do it and have them send the bill to SO.  When he asks ... or freeks, explain to him that you have responsibilities that you cannot complete while watching his kids.

Monkeysee's picture

Why should you be thrilled about watching his kid when he doesn’t even want to watch him? You aren’t the mother, he’s not your son. You feel like a glorified babysitter because that’s exactly what you are. This guy is totally using you, but it’s up to you to start saying no, or to simply leave.

Want2's picture

Stop being the hero. It will get you nowhere. I lived like this for years and it’s the same whether you’re SM or BM. You have to step up to the plate for yourself and take responsibility for your own life. SO isn’t going to. Stop thinking he will. He’s going to keep using you for as long as you let him. You’re just an appliance to him. He will only put enough effort in to keep you running for his needs but fundamentally he’s never going to change. Stop waiting for that to happen.

Siemprematahari's picture

I don't get any time to myself and he has all these hunting and fishing trips planned for the fall and guess who gets to stay home and watch his son ME!

How about you telling him that you have plans and HE needs to make arrangements for his son because you are not the babysitter. He does this because you are the glorified babysitter and are not putting your foot down. You need to put your foot in his @ss and let him know that he needs to make other plans because you aren't it. Get your life and stop allowing this man to walk all over you. You are watching this child because you choose to, you have options and you do have the gift of choice....

NotURMomma's picture

Dump. Him.

He is using you and it will never get better!