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I can't win

Spock1's picture

My SD moved in last December with her newborn. That lasted 4 months before she left due to me holding her accountable for her actions. Since then life has been cool until she started spending  3 nights out of the week to participate in a work training program.. I was okay with that until three nights turned into a week with her and the baby. Once I started asking when she leaving DW get an attitude. Then she brings up my lack of interaction with the baby.

I told her I can't become attach because I know we. are going have to make some hard decisions about opening our door again to her in the future. My wife accused me of expectating her to fail in her pursuit to become a contributing member. of society.

 My SD is 29 with no job, no income, and no car. She has not worked in two years. The reality of having a child did not motivate her to look for job until the state cut off her cash assistance. I came to the realization at this point this is who she is as a person.  Someone is going have to take care of her. I'm being look at as the bad guy because I'm being honest. Being a SD sucks!!!

didn'tsignupforapunk's picture

Tell your DW that last time you checked SD is a big girl, and that your level of interaction or relationship with either her or the baby is entirely up to you, and that NO, her camping out at your place is getting real old real quick. It seems all SD is interested in is getting a free ride at your exepense. Tell DW that if SD wants a gravy train she needs to learn how to make gravy and serve it up to herSELF. 

tog redux's picture

Your wife is an enabler. If you allow SD to live there, she should be paying rent at the very least, and have a planned exit date. She wants to sponge off of you and is using her daughter as an excuse.  Put your foot down and agree that you are concerned she will fail at being independent if her mother keeps enabling her to be dependent.