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Im just about to give up...

nana09's picture

Part of me wants to just give up already and leave, but part of me cant. 

After several arguments and fights about his lying, self centered, ungrateful, disrespectful, lazy little brats, 2 weeks ago my DH and I had what I thought was "the conversation" where we both finally vented out how we felt towards this whole parenting situation with his kid. I thought we had finally agreed to him being firm to his kids when necessary, giving them consequences when necessary and start being a parent first rather than trying to be a friend first or a "Disney Dad" like some of you like to call it. 

Well, it went down again! All because I asked him to start being more firm with his children when needed. I told him how the nice talk he ALWAYS gives them when they have done something wrong is NOT working and HAS not been working. He flipped! Saying how his kids are not bad kids, that they have their reasons to act that way. Than he tries to flip it on me how my bio kids have flaws too, that my kids have it easy because they have me 24/7 even though their dad sees them 4 times a month so its not like my kids need him, all while DH poor kids probably just want mom and dad together, they have it hard going back and forth between mom and dad so why should he change his ways with them and  I should cut them some slack too.

 

Im soooo close to throwing the towel!!!

 

Comments

shamds's picture

doesn’ Excuse the fact he still needs to parent and discipline his kids. I hate it when these parents use it as a cop out. 

Oh but if i do they’ll threaten to run away and then suddenly hubby blames you that their kid already has threatened with running away from home

never again did my hubby dare make me feel guilty for his kids effups

i told him very clearly that they are pathetic shits of life who manipulate, disrespect others and threaten their way because thats who they choose to be, i have never made them this way, they were like this before i even came in the picture and if hubby thinks he can have me in his lofe with his kids continuing like this then he is very mistaken

Harry's picture

Your SO will continue to play games, pitting you against his kids. Making you always the bad guy.  Him listening to his kids over you is enough.  The kids are young you have years of this getting worst.   Time to start packing up.

Maybe marriage counseling is worth a try.  Maybe he will listen to someone else,  maybe not. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Just out of curiosity, what was the event that happened where you felt he wasn't being firm?

Please know that I am not discounting your feelings! I am just curious. Sometimes I think, when we have something stuck in our heads, small things become quick trigger issues. 

Also, keep in mind that I don't deal with a Disney dad. I would loose my mind and for sure not be able to live with some of the stories told on here!!!

nana09's picture

We where out with family. My 9yr old SS had a firework in his hand. My 8 yr Old bio son was trying to get it from him so he could put it away with the other fireworks since my DH had said he didnt want any of the kids holding any of the fireworks. SS received a call from his mom and yells at my son "Im on the fucking phone". This is not the first time he speaks like this. This has happened multiple times already. One of our rules (or should I say MY rules since I am the only who seems to try to be consistent with having them follow through) at home is that we do not speak to each other with disrespect. 

justmakingthebest's picture

Yup. Not an over reaction on your part at all! 

Wow... I can't believe that your DH got mad at you when his son is talking like that!!

tankh21's picture

There is different parenting styles however, when skids are disrespectful and a parent tries to be their "friend" aka a Disney parent then something needs to happen. OP said that her skids were disrespectful and there is NO EXCUSE for disrespect. This is a DH problem.

ITB2012's picture

If I say something about a skid that is not completely positive DH retorts with something that my DS. He doesn’t like that I tell him we already talked about the DS thing, that thing has nothing to do with this thing, and we are only talking about this skid thing right now. He tries to deflect all the time. 

nana09's picture

my goodness. yes! its ways like that with us. I'll tell him "Your kid did this. Letting you know so you can correct it" he will say "well your kid isnt perfect either". and then we go back and forth cuz im trying to stick to what we where initially talking about, but he will keep going back to "well your kids..."

Bex_S's picture

You need to get out. DH has made it very clear that he refuses to change, and refuses to encourage his kids to as well. If he wants to raise complete feral brats, he can do it alone.

thinkthrice's picture

that is all