From one extreme to the next
Many moons ago, I was with a man who had 2 bits from 2 different women. That relationship didn’t work out because he had no boundaries with the BMs and his youngest son was a manipulative monster with crazy eyes and he was never disciplined. I left that mess!
I then dated a guy who had a daughter, but they were not very active in eachothers lives. He was 18 when she was born and the mother and maternal grandmother moved many states away soonafter the birth. My ex’s father advised my ex to “let them go, don’t chase her down”. He occasionally tried to be in her life, but mommy and maternal grandmother weren’t having it. He and his daughter reconnected via fb when she turned 18, which was soonafter he and I began dating. They met up a few times, but the bond wasn’t there. Not sure what ever came if it because we broke up. I didn’t understand how he just sat back and never fought for his rights as her father when BM up and moved.
Last man: He had custody of his 2 kids, and he was on board 100 percent with discipline and giving them chores and being respectful to me and he always put me first as far as being a partner and never allowed them to disrespect me. Sounds like heaven, right? Nope. His kids were angels, but I felt like he was too hard on them. At age 7 and 8, they always had a long list of chores to do after school. Not little chores like taking out trash, but biggies like vaacumming entire house, cleaning all bathrooms, folding clothes, including his. Then homework. Then dinner, they’d have to wash dishes afterwards, then 30 min of TV, bath time, and bedtime. And on the weekends, they’d go with BM or paternal grandparents. They’d love it at their moms house because they could be KIDS. And then he’d get his feelings hurt and he’d even say mean things about their mom to them on occasion.
I donf kniw where or if there is ever a true happy place when dating a person with kids. All three of my ex”s parented their kids in polar opposite ways, and I just wasn’t happy. Almosr all men my age have kids, so this is something I need to figure out.