You are here

anxiety over baby

flmomma08's picture

We have SD11 (who currently is living with her BM by her own choice), BD3, and I am expecting. Both our bios were planned but I am starting to get so anxious about having this baby. I don't remember feeling this way when I was pregnant with my BD.

Maybe I feel it more now because of all the recent SD drama, I don't know. I am worrying about everything, from how BD is going to feel to who is going to watch her while I am in the hospital to something going wrong during delivery, and everything in between. It's just constant.

Has anyone else experienced these feelings?


Annoyed1's picture

I'm no longer a step mother, but I stay on this forum to offer my insight as I was living in step hell for 12 years and somehow managed to get out. lol. Not saying all situations are bad, but mine was. I just wanted to say that what you're feeling is completely normal. I'm currently pregnant with my second and am experiencing the exact same feelings that you are (minus the step kid). I think we have the added anxiety this time around because we have our other child to worry about, which we didn't have the first time around. Just take deep breaths and try to plan everything you can ahead of time. I'm sure you will figure it all out. Don't stress out. It's not good for you or the baby. WIshing you all the best. 

flmomma08's picture

Thank you so much for replying and congrats on getting out lol!

You're right, most of my anxiety is about my BD in some way and I didn't have another child last time so it was much different!

I will try to relax as best as I can. Thanks again Smile


Notup4it's picture

Yes I am feeling it too this time, and this is also my second. I think when it is a first baby you live in the abstract while pregnant- everything is new and exciting, you are nervous but you don’t know really what to expect and you have worries but are really sort of clueless.  With a second you are sort of in this weird “land” between it being more concrete (because you have experience and have a vague idea of how it can be like) but still really abstract (because you don’t really know how things will be similar or different and now there are more pieces that come into play). 

I have found this time to be more emotional... it makes me think of how things were with DD when she was a baby a lot.   I worry how my daughter will be, and how everything will come together, I wonder how I will feel and will be this time.  I’m also more scared of something going wrong during delivery too, or along the way.... which can get me pretty worked up (even though I had a pretty straight forward labour with DD). It also seems *weird* to me to have a baby that isn’t DD.  Like already this one isn’t nearly as active as DD was and then I feel strange because she is what I have experienced.  I’m sure it will be TOTALLY different when they come out- it is just for now while it is all still abstract that it seems emotional and stressful and strange.

I totally can relate, and feel free to message me anytime. 

flmomma08's picture

This is very true!

I didn't worry about my delivery with BD at all, and I didn't have complications so there is really no reason for me to worry this time but I can't help but think of everything that can go wrong and BD being left without me. I know it's morbid ugh I am trying to stop.

I'm sure everything will be fine once baby is here but man this second go around is so different and so much more stressful!

Best of luck to you since you are in the same boat! When are you due?

Notup4it's picture

 I know I was nervous about delivery with DD too- but more because I didn’t know what to expect and I guess in the back of my mind I was able to convince myself that labour wouldn’t “really” happen.... Lol.  I certainly didn’t have quite as many morbid thoughts as I do this time. Ugh.  It is also hard to believe that you will go through all of it again.  It scares me, but I have read many times that it is actually very normal to feel like this with subsequent pregnancies- there are even ladies on #4, 5 or 6 and they get these exact same thoughts and fears.  My friend who is seriously a L&D champ (always has these super short, easy, drug free labour’s) had to go for a ton of counselling for it while pregnant with baby #3!! 

I’m due November 27, how about you?

flmomma08's picture

Its definitely a weird feeling knowing I will be going through all that again .. not only the labor but the whole newborn stage! I'm glad these are normal feelings though.

I am due Nov 2!

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Talk to your midwife or ob about your concerns. 

No skids/BM at the hospital. If your in-laws are Team BM/Team skids, ban them from your birth suite.

If it’s a boy, keep him intact and breastfeed (the hospital should have a lactation consultant; go to a la Leche league meeting.)

Babies die from Circumcision. Circumcision interferes with breastfeeding and there’s evidence circumcision causes autism.

Breastfeeding protects from SIDS (iirc) and helps babies’ immune systems.

flmomma08's picture

I will mention it to them.

I don't think SD would be planning to come to the hospital anyway since she has decided she wants to stay with BM full time. When I had my BD, my MIL brought SD to see her but they didn't stay long.

I would prefer not to have anyone come to the hospital this time but that will start so much drama.

We don't know the gender and I don't have any other boys so I can't comment on the circumcision yet but I did breastfeed my daughter.

AvaAllan15a's picture

Do you know what’s causing most diseases and not allowing your body to heal? Negative thinking. In your case, by negative thinking I mean being afraid, hiding, maybe hating yourself. The first step is to get comfortable with who you are and go towards the change. Do whatever you have to do and don’t think what others think. You should know that people admire the ones that have the courage to do what others feel ashame or are scared to do. I know, it’s hard to find that inner force, the confidence when you never had it. But when you’ll accomplish it, nothing will ever be impossible for you. Try taking some supplements for the brain 'cause if the brain is healthy, the whole body will heal. When my wife passed through depression, Etizolam helped her a lot so I suggest you find an authorized etizolam vendor. The brain is a powerful beast imprisoned inside our heads and until you’ll be able to control it you need a tamer.