Does menopause make disengaging harder?
Recently I have been told by my GP that I have started the next phase of womanhood, menopause! Blood marvellous (not)!!!!
The impact is mainly physical, I am fatigued, emotional and just plain fed up with being a girl sometimes. I accept that this is a normal progression and am working through the process of acceptance and learning how to manage a new stage of life.
The reason that I am writing this here is that I think my emotional state has become more labile and I find myself saying in my head "don't say that" " avoid that topic, it will just cause you to be emotional" and yet there are times when I just appear to have brain fades and out comes something I would prefer have remained internal. ( See my previous post about the bathroom saga). This is at times making the process of disengaging harder.....
Well just this morning DH and I were discussing friends and the fact that their 2 adult children have recently moved home and how we are enjoying are lives as empty nesters. DH is very negative about these 2 children of our friends and made a couple of comments that I thought were a bit out of line and in fact his children have behaved in exactly the same way. I stupidly made comparison of our friends kids and his (all adults mind you) and he lost it, told me he is sick of having to defend his and his ex wifes parenting choices and stormed out of the house.
Now I can see his point, it is difficult to look at your own children through the eyes of others but I manage, other people I know manage, my parents do it (sometimes I wish they wouldn't!) and in honesty we are not ever going to approve of all the choices our children make, the world just doesn't work like that. I also explained this to him prior to his storming out of the house.
Does anyone have any advice on how to work through this time? Should I just accept that I am going to spend the coming years making DH and possibly others unhappy because my mind is scrambled by hormones?
I should add I am trying very hard to disengage from any conversation about kids (his, mine or others), I am trying to avoid conflict and sometimes I isolate myself to avoid conversations that could lead to conflict.
I don't know what to do, feel very sad, lonely and like I have nothing to contribute that is positive anymore.
I have spoken to my health team and their advice is welcome but I can't shake the feeling that I am just failing and life is not going to get any better.