Tired of being held responsible with no authority
Edit: From the comments, I'm not sure people are seeing this is a metaphor. Tim is not a real person, he is a metaphor for my husband's shitty parenting and the person being shit on is me or step mothers in general. This is a message I sent to my DH today:
Just imagine being at work and being held responsible for the employees, yet not being able to say anything negative to them and if you do you get excuses thrown at you or you get Tim mad at you for not liking the employees enough or not showing them enough love. So you try to do your own thing and get your own work done yet still want to make yourself available to support the younger employees and Tim as well who is overwhelmed by other jobs and too many employees because you love Tim and you want him to be happy & healthy. By the way never suggest that maybe Tim should not have hired so many employees with the same idiot because that idiot is little to no help but Tim loves all of his employees and regrets nothing and that's ok. You should never resent or regret your employees but its ok to resent or regret where they came from.
He hired them and now he is responsible for them.
So you try to disengage from the employees but Tim keeps getting mad at you. You kinda feel damned if I do, damned if I don't...so you don't because why do if you are damned anyways, right? Nothing you do is right in the long run. Even if things are ok today, you never know what tomorrow will bring. And the employees can do no wrong. Even if they are wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and get written up by Tim for these wrongs, do one thing right and they have a perfect record again. Rip up the write up and make out a hurt feelings report and apologize to the employees for any hurt feelings. The employees have rules set by you and Tim but they usually only have to follow them for a day or 2 until they get forgotten about by Tim and you just have to watch them do whatever the fuck they want...all the while constantly demanding things they feel entitled to because Tim feels guilty that he hasn't been a good enough boss so tries to buy their love but you cant buy respect.
At times Tim agrees with you, either because he sees you are right or because he wants to shut you up. He wants what is best for the employees as well as the company, hes just not sure how to do it. So you help him but then the employees start resenting you, calling you names, talking about you behind your back and that makes for a hostile work environment, so you avoid going to the job site and find productive things to do elsewhere but then you get accused of slacking on the job...maybe even having another job. I mean does Tim actually think you'd ever want another boss and if you did think you'd want to quit your job, you'd at least put in your 2 weeks notice before you would work anywhere else.
So with tim's support you guys try to turn these employees into decent and productive human beings but if you try to enforce any disciplinary action Tim does not help you follow through and has even undermined your authority in front of the employees. I get it Tim is busy but you would think hed prioritize the most important things in life.
Tim does apologize often for the hurt that this job causes you but sorry dont cut it, reform is the only redemption.
The hardest part of all of this is you love Tim and want him to be happy and you're afraid that all of this conflict will lead to you losing your job. You are just trying to do a good job but all of the resentment building up between you and Tim may lead to you losing your best friend. Someone you thought you would work with forever.
Just imagine being at work and being held responsible for the employees, yet not being able to say anything...welcome to steplife.