When did your family unit mesh with “ours” baby
I will keep it brief, I have a new baby and a SK that we see fairly often. It feels like the 3 of us, my husband me and my child have our routine set and going until the nights and weekends my SK is here. I can feel my D.H. being torn on who to tend to in some cases ( ex: baby is crying and I’m needing to do something and D.H. is holding baby, yet SK is pulling at his sleeve wanting him to play a game). It looks like sheer panic because he doesn’t want to let anyone down.
Its got to be tough as a parent, but it’s hard for me to accept less help when SK is around. My D.H. is a really hands on dad with both kids, so it’s not like I’m constantly doing ALL the work, but when SK is with us— more of the baby duty definitely falls on me and I work FT as well as being a FT SAHM to an infant. D.H. is really conscious of it, so I know he tries, but I can see my SK wanting and craving more and more solo attention (understandably), but D.H. not being able to do that at this point.
Ive lightly mentioned it to him that when SK is here the focus tends to shift and it becomes more about them, their needs, their wants, their entertainment... but now that there is another child in the mix, SK can’t be the sole focus. He acknowledged it, but there wasn’t a plan to address it.
Thoughts on how to manage the 2 relationships so DH can be available to us and it not come across as me “attacking” or putting us first?