Question from a newbie
I'm a step and a bio as I'm sure alot of your are. This is a question regarding my bio kids. I have two children with my exhusband. Three years ago when my oldest bio daughter was 14 there was a huge blow out argument at her fathers house between my ex, his new wife and my two kids which resulted in both kids not wanting to go back over. Few weeks after the "incident" the younger one who was 10 at the time wanted to go back over so she did. My 14 yr old was still hurt/pissed and refused to go over. At no time did my exhusband try and call or talk to our older daughter about what happened. I tryed to get my older daughter to reach out to her father but she refused. Her therapist said she was afraid of reaching out and being rejected as her father has made no attempt to resolve what happened. Also my youngest would come home and tell of all the wonderful things she did at dad's house and I could see the hurt in my older daughters face. If my ex would take the first step I know my oldest would grab on. My ex will go to every function/DR appt for our youngest but will not go to anything for our oldest. When we are all at an event for our youngest my ex will avoid contact with our oldest at all costs and will only say "Hi" if he can't avoid her. Its so awkward. Before the "incident' my ex had a wonderful relationship with both children. My daughter is now a senior in high school with failing grades and drug problems and her father could care less. Yes she is not perfect but she still needs her dad. Yes I know I can't force my ex to have contact with his daughter but I wish I could fix this. I feel if this can't be resolved by the time she's 18 it will be harder to fix. In your opinion is there anything I could do to help this situation? If there is nothing do you think time will heal or make it worse if there is no contact between them?