Episode 22: Pushing your kid away literally and figuratively
(Backstory: The Harpy (BM) whisked the Princess (SD15) away from her family to check into a residential treatment castle on the other side of the country. We are not people who can drop everything, pay last min airfare to jet across the globe on a whim. We are legally obligated and budgeted. DH was strongly against this from the beginning but powerless to stop it. Since then, neither the Harpy nor the Princess have shut up about how DH hasn't come to visit Princess in the castle.)
The Princess (SD15) comes home on Saturday. When she found out she was getting released, she asked to stay at the castle for another week. The castle docs are having none of it, even though she's a self-pay patient who hasn't completed the full 60 day program. Apparently Princess doesn't do the work, refuses the personal trainer sessions, hasn't touched her schoolwork, and has started asking her therapists if they've f**ked her mom so that she can get kicked out of therapy sessions.
(Is there a cautionary tale here about biting the hand that psychoanalyzes?)
Tangent: My original theory that separating Princess and the Harpy (BM) would do Princess a world of good was apparently a hugely wrong idea. They've both only gotten worse. It was my only good idea so I'm feeling rather defeated.
Since Princess is still threatening to kill herself, the Harpy won't hear of bringing her home. She'll have to go to a boarding school. There's one smack dab btwn our house and the Harpy's house, but Princess can't get in there because she's not addicted to drugs and doing crimes. The next closest facility is 260 miles away.
Harpy set up everything so that she and Princess would get home Sunday night, then get in the car the next day and take Princess to her new school 4 hrs drive away. The school would be ready for their arrival and all would be well. But then Harpy realized she had a scheduling conflict and couldn't drive Princess to school.
DH said simply: "I can drive her, no problem."
Well. We can't have that, can we?
A few hours later the Harpy is changing her mind about that school because it's not a good fit and maybe one farther away would be better. Wouldn't want Princess around all those kids who are <clutch the pearls> at that school for adoption-related reasons (is that even a real thing? Who publishes data on the mental demographics of the enrollees at that school? I call baloney).
What's your real reason, Harpy? Want something far enough away that you can use your airline miles but that DH will have to move heaven and earth to get to?
Somewhere you won't have to worry about him visiting and screwing up your narrative to Princess?
Somewhere far enough that you would feel less guilty when your little girl tries a "cry for help" and misses?
Somewhere far enough away that you can be a martyr for parenting a mentally ill child but not actually have to parent her daily?
Enquiring minds want to know.