I am starting to get burned out. My DH and I have a farm, 3 teenagers, 1 grandchild, and my inlaws. My DH is in the military and also has a "civilian" job. I run the house and farm during the day and every other week I watch sd16's baby until she gets out of school at 4pm. The teenagers are very adept at helping to run the farm so it's not a big deal if we have to go out of town for a short time occasionally. Recently , we had a weekend anniversary trip and everything was ok. This week, my DH had to go to D.C. for some work training and I was going to fly out there for 2 days to decompress and go to some of the museums.(I really want to see the Smithsonian ).It was our family's week to watch the baby so I asked SD to see if she and the dad could switch weeks. I was supposed to leave Tuesday or Wednesday and literally had to keep asking her all weekend to check and see if this was going to work. I found out on Monday night that I couldn't go, baby's dad wouldn't switch weeks. I am resentful of this. I feel like I was told a bunch of b.s. in the beginning when they found out they were pregnant about how stuff wouldn't fall on me. The baby's dad has multiple relatives that could of helped out , he just didn't want to have to drive the baby there. He's lazy. He's 18 and sd is 16. They were both dumb and she ended up pregnant. My dh was always open with her about protecting herself and sex ed. Anyway, so I find out I can't go on the trip and I'm now disappointed.
The other part of this is that my inlaws live with us. My father in law has Parkinsons and he has good days and bad days. On the bad days, he can be confrontational, paranoid, and do bizarre things. A few weeks ago, his stomach hurt and he wrote "call 911" on windows and cabinets in toothpaste, then went outside and started honking the car horn repeatedly. My inlaws are having a small addition built onto the house so that they can have their "own house". Every day I get to hear from my FIL how they aren't doing it right, or not doing it fast enough, or he did it better back in his day. With me having to go out a couple times per day to somehow get him back in to quit harrassing the contractors. He also has a paper product issue. I have ended up with multiple rolls of papertowels in all the rooms of my house. He tears each sheet in half and I usually find the unused half someplace random. I am so sick of picking up papertowels.
My Mother in law, is stubborn. She wants to lay in bed and read romance novels all day. She makes her husband make breakfast and lunch and do laundry. I had my dh and SIL talk to her and a couple of weeks ago she started getting up to do these things and help take care of her husband. Then she fell.( she is supposed to use a cane or walker and doesn't like using it so she doesn't). She hurt her knee and the dr. told her she needs a knee replacement and soon. I feel like with my inlaws I am having to deal with toddlers. Common sense just flies out the window and I am growing more and more frustrated. Things like not using the walker or laying in bed all day really are starting to bug me.They keep leaving their coffee pot on and it keeps burning on the bottom but somehow it's a mystery as to why it's left on. I have repeatedly told them to get the auto shut off one, order it on amazon or someplace else online, but getting things like this done are always last on my MIL list of stuff to do. Instead it's reading or using ancestry.com. She can't seem to take care of him and they want their independence but continue to just ignore the common sense stuff. Or if we tell them" hey, driving when you need a knee replacement probably isn't a good idea until after your surgery is finished" my MIL deflects. I had my SIL lay down the law about that one. My DH talked to my MIL about hiding the car keys so that FIL doesn't go missing. I turn around and he's at the car opening all the doors.
I really have no idea how they are going to function in the addition. I have ordered some magnetic door and window alarms and some "fall" buttons on lanyards for them. we are going to see what their state insurance will allow as far as maybe getting someone to come in once a week or so to help. One of my problems is that I am starting to lack empathy. I feel like I am always doing their dishes, cleaning up messes, ending up with things in my house broken, on top of just regular farm work, dealing with teenagers, dealing with baby. I know that self-care is important but I don't know when to get a chance to do it. I did one of those 2 hour painting classes with my daughter last month and scheduled another for this month. but thats 2 hours out of a month. What are some small things I can do at home to de-stress? I feel like I don't get a break. I try to watch a show on Amazon at night but then my husband complains because he has to get up in the morning early. I need to de-stress and fast.