What do we do?
I am a SM of two SC. SD8 and SS5. I also have a child of my own I brought into this relationship (no involvment of his father) and one one the way with my husband. The BM has hated me since day one. I've tried and tried to make things civil between us but she has been completely resistant to it. This last January she was arrested along with two others for driving with a suspended license and having drugs in their posession. She got out of it. But then was turned over to another county for charges and a warrant. Then in February she was arrested again in a complete other county for driving with a suspended license at 3am with no headlights. After the first arrest my husband and I went to court to have her drug tested before she could pick up the kids for her parenting time. She went an entire month (we have primary custody and she gets them on the weekends) without doing the drug test. Then after that it was sporatic. We went to court three times, which she never showed for. The second time, the court said that if she didn't show for a drug test it would be considered an automatic fail and her visitation time would be suspended until furter notice. Right before the thirds court hearing she missed her drug test and the court suspended her visitation until she puts in a petition to the court. This was in May. She hasn't had any visitation with them since. Sporatically calls them and talks to them for 5 minutes before she's got to go with a friend or so on. She has seen them the last three weekends due to voleyball games of our oldest. However, they are limited to hugs and then goodbyes. She fought with me at the first one because SS5 didn't want to sit by her. Steered clear of me the second time. The third time my husband was gone and she apologized to me and I to her, and hasn't said anything since. She is typically very rude and cusses at my husband constantly if she doesn't get her way. She never asks anything and always demands to "talk to her f***ing kids". We've never not let her talk to them and we've always let them call her when they ask. In fact the last time the kids had seen her prior to the last three weekends was on mothers day where we had them because she didn't take a drug test and so I had suggested we all go out to eat. It began with her being drunk and ended with her calling me names in front of a whole restraunt and our kids. The kids were in tears and she was too. i stayed stoic and didn't say anything. My question is, now she is asking for them for the weekend or day but with her parents. I don't feel comfortable with this.... What do we do?