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When it rains, it pours

young_step_mom's picture

This is a bit off topic, but I feel like I've been having a really hard time lately.

BM is suing DH for an increase in CS and the case is sort of stalled and because of it she is making it difficult for us to get in touch with SS (we live in a different state 5 hours away).  Anytime either of us calls, he is out or asleep or taking a shower or whatever other excuse she or her mother can think of to stop us from talking to him.  She doesn't answer her phone and the last time we went to visit (about two weeks ago) she completely ignored DHs calls and texts so we wouldn't be able to pick-up SS.  

Then, I was up for an amazing promotion at work, but it looks like the person whose job I was going to get is not leaving after all and I am so bummed about it and just feel really down because I had gotten my hopes up -which I guess is on me since I shouldn't have assumed it was a sure thing. 

Now to top it off, I'm starting to stress about money.  DH switched jobs almost a year ago, he makes less than he did before but we hadn't been stressing about the difference in income until recently, since we've had to start paying the lawyer and some other expenses we weren't really expecting.  It just feels like everything is going so badly lately, it's hard to stay positive.

Just hoping that things turn around soon and that when they do we get as much good stuff as we've had bad lately. 


ESMOD's picture

It all seems to come in a pile doesn't it?

Re the issues with BM... you guys need to be very vigilant on documenting every instance of her denying access to his son.  Have a log to provide your atty.

Re the job, that does sound disapointing but sometimes when one door closes..another opens.  There were things that on the face of it I thought were bad but in the end they freed me up for even better opportunities.


young_step_mom's picture

I like to things happen for a reason, and that if I didn't get this job it's because something better for me is coming, but it's hard not to be disappointed.

As for the issues with BM, we are logging everything but it still sucks that we can't see/speak to SS and I honestly don't think the judge will do more than tell her "don't do that."

I love dogs's picture

Sending you good vibes for things to turn around! As far as the phone calls, are there designated times for you guys to talk to SS? And when you went to his state, was it specifically to see him or is it your home state?

young_step_mom's picture

There are no specified times because the CO wasn't modified when we moved away.  At the time, BM and DH were on better terms so they sort of just agreed between themselves that they would schedule visitation based on what worked for everyone's schedules.  It was going well for about three years until she filed for CS and now it's all gone crazy again.

We went to see SS and to speak with our lawyer, but obivoulsy we only got to do one of those things :(  Thanks for the good vibes, I really need them right now!

marblefawn's picture

On the money front, charge everything you can on a Discover card -- your cable, fuel, groceries, electric bill, everything. If it's a $4 Starbucks visit, CHARGE IT!

When the bill comes, it's all nicely divided into fuel costs, restaurants, services, shopping, etc., so you can see exactly where your money goes. When you look at the restaurants section of the bill, consider that could all be money in your pocket that you didn't have last month. Same with services for nail salons, pet grooming, etc. All that can be money saved.

It might make you feel better to know you have some ways to cut corners if you must.

I think we all have a lot more money than we realize when we see where our disposable income goes. I am a master budgeter and I've used this process all my life -- and you get money back on all your purchases, so there's a little extra to put toward the next Discover bill.

On the depression front...

I interviewed for a job I had several years ago. I was so devastated and embarrassed when I didn't get it (I mean...what does that say about me???)...until...that same day my dog got really sick and needed emergency surgery to save his life. Suddenly, I literally forgot I was even crushed about a job. Great timing!

Things turn every day. Have faith that whatever is bad today will be worse or better tomorrow. But they don't stay the same, so eventually things will improve.

I am still unemployed, but as I sit here typing, my little dog is healthy again and snoozing right next to me (and it only cost $2,600 to make that happen!)

young_step_mom's picture

I definitely feel like we could be budgeting better!  When we lived in SS's town DH and I were making less than HALF of what we make now.  I still look back and think, how the hell were we making it on our salary? I swear I have NO idea how we did it, but we (and SS) NEVER went without.

Glad to hear your pup is OK and you're absolutely right, things will eventually improve - I just need to be patient and trust that the tides will turn for the better soon enough, thank you!

Maxwell09's picture

In the money regards, I feel you. DH also just started a new job about a year ago and I was also blessed with a sudden opportunity to work around the same time which I took. I thought I was going to be signed on for another contract at the close of this one in May but my boss said he didn't have space for me "at the time" but would call me. It's summertime so our spending is up and without my income, it hurt us more than we expected. At this point I can only tell DH that it can only go up from here as we go on a "financial diet."  I guess one silver lining is BM is behaving herself because of some personal issues going on but that never lasts especially with school about to start back up here in the South. That's always a guarantee GUBM flare up. So you are not alone, we will be here together! 

young_step_mom's picture

It's nice to know I am not alone, thank you!

I have always been such a worrywart about money because I saw my parents struggle when I was a kid, but I guess I just have to understand that the money train comes and goes.  We've definitely been better off than we are now, but we have also been a lot worse.  School starts here next month too, and BM usually asks DH for money for school supplies, new uniform, etc. so I guess I can see the silver lining here: she can't ask DH for money if she's ignoring us!