Grieving - Might be too much to handle
I've had a really rough couple of weeks lately. I try to maintain an upbeat attitude...but I think it's starting to hit me that DH is going to be incredibly over-active in his kids' lives, offering to do and pay for stuff...for quite a while after they've launched. OSD is now 21, SS just turned 20, and YSD will be 18 this month...
And he's constantly getting them little things, texting, calling, etc. We have a potential big job this summer...and he offered both YSD and SS positions on this project if it comes through, even though they aren't really qualified...quoting them a rate that is definitely over-paying them. Didn't ask me about any of this at all...and now I find myself hoping that the job doesn't come through bc I don't want to work with skids for 4 weeks.
I'm still making the majority of the money and am bracing for YSD 18th bday and graduation. We (aka I) spent SO MUCH on SS 2 years ago when he turned 18 and graduated. Makes me sick to think about it.
Good thing is - one more YSD visitation, 2 more CS payments, then done. So that helps.
I guess I'm just sad that the relationship I used to have with the skids has deteriorated to this point where I'd rather never see or hear abou them again...I care for them much less now than I did when they were younger...and I thought my care for them would grow. It's like, as soon as they started driving and didn't need me to like them anymore, they became basically indifferent to me.
Has anyone else experienced this as skids age? Or maybe it's also me...maybe the years of feeling taken advantage of added up and I can't get past the resentment...and they sense it?
I actually would like to have some kind of relationship with skids, but I don't feel that it's possible now.