you and the hubby need to see a therapist...one thatspecializes in blended family situations...good luck...invest in it..

I agree with mommy rose. A step family counselor would be ideal for you. I recently discovered stepmom magazine online that has been a valuable resource for me. Blended families have their many challenges, however, by educating yourself through reading, counseling, bloqs etc., you can lessen the stress that comes with it.. Good luck to you.

Well you already know what you were getting yourself into when you married him. He already had baggage and that baggage is part of his life so somewhere down the line you had accepted this life style.

The whole you are not my mama thing? Is crap! You live in that home with your husband and there are rules that must be followed. It is no different than taking care of your niece, nephew, or if you were babysitting someone else’s kid. They are to be courteous or have manners and follow the rules of the house hold rather that has to do with not eating in the living room, finish your chocolate milk, stay out of the fridge, and pick up your toys exc.

This whole I have no rights because I am not their mother is bull. I think as a step parent you have some rights and the best I can describe those rights is you treat the step children no different than how you would treat your nieces, nephews, a best friends child you don't mind babysitting. There are rules in your house to keep it a going.

Now as far as the comparing crap. I do not doubt their BM is putting them up to doing that stuff. She probably preps them before they come over. I had one SD who is the youngest when we picked them up for the holidays she was the first one in the car opening her mouth about the past. Daddy do you remember when you mom and I did this and a whole lot of the stories would be made up because daddy would answer back saying we never did that together hun I was hardly home when you were born. Then it was Daddy did you ever love mom? This would come out of the one that could be easily coached; the other would stay out of it. She never came up with the whole did you remember this and that kind of stuff. There was a point of time she did not want to go home to her mother she wanted to stay with us. My guess is because BM was digging for information out of them when they came back to her.

If anyone was insecure it was the BM

The only thing you can do about the whole compare crap is your husband needs to put a stop to it. Tell them he would talk to them later about it. He should have private time with them to talk about things of the past and you go have some bonding time with your son. But I am betting the bringing up the past thing is BM prepping.

You don't put up with disrespect and rudeness. And who cares if you don't get something for her because if you don't mama will? What the hell? If her mama does get something for her whatever it is then good for her. But I be damn if I am going to put myself in a situation of competition with her mama. Her mama can just go get it.