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Hope we get the kids

ksmom4's picture

So we filed a motion in court yesterday to find the BM in contempt of court and to modify resdential custody. Can't wait til she gets the paperwork. Hope I become the proud mama of two more boys living with us full time.

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ksmom4's picture

She had asked the judge to move and he said no she had to stay. She waited 7 months moved the kids to a different school and didn't tell us until we called her the night before school started, then 3 months after that she moved schools and town again only this time it was an hour away. Now she's trying to move again to a town that's an hour and a half away. This will be my ss12 and ss11 5th school. Mine have only been in one since they started.

ksmom4's picture

When they first started in school the first couple of yrs they got A's and B's. Now they get mostly D's and F's. The best grade they come home it is a C. The younget will be in 6th grade and needs extra help in school. We just got his IEP from school and he's reading at a 3rd to 4th grade level and is at a 4th grade level in math. They don't have any real connects with friends and the BM and their SD don't have any family here. They bounce from job to job. They would have to move to the school where we live but since they come to our house 3 weekends a month and my kids are 11 & 8 they have known the kids in our neighborhood for years and would already be comfortable with them.

ksmom4's picture

The CO also states that should remain in a certain school district. I was really hoping that this would be our thing that we could use to get the kids. She once told me that they were her kids and she didn't care what the judge said. You gotta move where the money is. Her new husband is a used car salesman. I just want them to grow up knowing that they don't have to move every year and start over. This would be it. A plce to call home for good and not just the weekends. The school they "should" be in was only 15 mins away. Now they are an hour away and she wants to move then an hour and a half away. She was nice about it she said that we could still have them on our weekends and since we would get them on Wednesday anymore we could have an extra week somewhere in the year. Funny we already have spring break because she doesn't want to pay for daycare and her Christmas break last year she asked if we would just take them since my husband was off.

Disneyfan's picture

The mom isn't doing anything that puts the kid's safety and well being in danger. She's moving to make more money. That will be a plus for the kids. If she doesn't move, will you complain if she asks your husband to give her extra money to pay for things for the kids?

MJL2010's picture

KS, I am totally with you. Our BM has moved only once so far but I expect there will be more. Luckily they have not even been to court yet- DH gave her permission to move and she has continued to make life as difficult as possible for him and, of course, my kids and me. In fact, she recently wanted to go to court so that DH would be denied the right to sign the kids up for any activities in our town, where they spend a down-the-line 50% of their time. They've managed to work it out but it is all a game with her, and I know there's more to come. Good luck to you and to your skids, who deserve at least one stable place of residence.

Yme's picture

I gree that moving a kid all around just f's the kid up.....always the new kid....no real friends.....I say this because my DH tells me the hell of a life he spent in his early yrs from K-7th grade being packed up and carted all over changing school several times in a school yr at some points because "we have a new life"... "things are gonna be better here"..."we have a fresh start"....DH is just the nicest guy but doesnt do well making new friends or being in a situation where he feels like the new person....he does work through this but that hasnt come until the last few years with me encouraging these interactions....as i am a very social person...
The down side is most judges dont think moving so much is a big issue......:( Sad for your Skids...
I guess you should base your "harm" on the kids grades and such....hope you get what you want.....What do the skids say? where do they want to be?

ksmom4's picture

For all of you that think it is ok to keep moving the kids, I really feel sorry for you. My first priority is the my kids. Bio or step and yes things would be better at our house. My own son had the same learning problem as mr SS11 and with hard work he is now making A's and B's. My SS12 came home with bruses on his arms from his SF picking him up and slamming him on his bed hard enough to break it. We filed a police report and the mom told the police that she did it. They are left alone for hours after school. I have watched my SS11 for years hide under the kitchen table and cry when she gets here. I have to pull his hands apart and make him leave. Sometimes its not about the money. Money isn't everything. Its about being a family. I have tried to talk to her several time and ask for her to let us know when things are going on at the school like pictures or events and everytime nothing. When they were in school that were close enough I could drive there and order my own pictures but an hour and a half is too far to drive one way when I have to still take care of my own kids. They have wear clothes with holes and that are too small for them. She has called when they got in trouble for stealing and when they got caught setting things on fire at her house. Yes on fire. Their SF taught them how to use a lighter. So yes in my heart they would do better in our home. Its not about the money. Its about family and we have tons of family around here that loves and supports them. Always to have their backs. She has done some pretty self serving things and she just dosent think of them first. Its pretty clear when they come to us and ask why they have to leave with tears. So yeas this is the place they need to be. The judge told her last time that it was not in the best interest of the childrento leave our county. So bring on the fight. It about their well being and their future.

Yme's picture

AHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS is the INFO that the JUDGE and child protecion needs to hear!!!
There is more to it than moving the boys around....I cant believe that the police did nothing...I hope that you are taking pictures and I hope that these boys can get some counceling....and the councelor will testify in court on your behalf...ask some wont...
Sad......IF your DH stands on moving as the probelm He doesnt stand a chance BUT if DH can show they are in an Unfit UNSAFE home DH will have 2 legs to stand on.....You have to make it about that treatment and throw in the moving part as an aside and WHY the kids need stability with you....
Wish you the best of luck....

ksmom4's picture

When we filed the police report and they did their "investigation" they turned it to SRS and she lied. I couldn't believe it. It came down to he said she said. The police said that she has the right to punish them the way she sees fit and since my SS12 is a big kid she said that she had to use force. She has even threaten my SS12 with calling them police on him because she was trying to hit him with a belt and he ran outside and wouldn't come back in. She said that they would come take him away. Of course he was scared and with us being an hour away he didn't know what to do. When the BM was first dating her now husband he hit her in the face in the parking lot of Applebees because she huged my DH in front of him. Shortly after that they got married. She is not playing with a full deck. I have offered to pay for extra classes and religous classes for the skids and she always says no. It takes away from her time. All we want to do is help and we get shut out. Each time she moves seems like things get worse and she wants us out of the picture. Always takes us back to court for more money though. The child support doesn't bother me if she would just use it for the kids. We just got two collection letters yesterday from the skids school saying she hasn't paid the enrollment fees for this year yet and we are being turned to collection for it. We get calls everyday that lunch account are negative. I even put my own money on their account so they could have a hot lunch. I just don't get it. When my first husband & I split up he couldn't afford anything and I had the kids full time. I paid things for him to get back on his feet. I don't understand things. The kids are the most important above all and some people look at them like a paycheck.

Yme's picture

"She can punish him how she sees fit??" ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????
So I can punch my skid in the head and I can say they are biggest so I saw fit to do it that way???????
OMG these poor kids!!