New Life, New Family, New Issues
This is my first blog entry. I found this site while searching for advice on how to deal with my fiance's ex-girlfriend, who is also the mother of the two children they share joint custody of. The issue: she's crazy!
I consider myself an incredibly understanding person. I've dealt with women who have personality disorders and manipulative people. I even bought the book called "In Sheep's Clothing - Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" by George K. Simon Jr. (AMAZING book, by the way...it truly helped me to deal with and recognize these people in my life). Also, I am an educator and a youth coach. I understand that not everyone understands how to deal with children or has the patience to do so, but you would think by the time you are 5 years in with the second child you would have a basic understanding of how to parent and at least how your OWN kids work.
Let me also state this: I LOVE these kids. When I met my fiance, we immediately fell in love, and within 6 months I was a fixture in his household, where I then fell in love with his children. I completely understand his own inner turmoil in continuing to raise one of his "kids", who is actually his ex's daughter from a previous relationship. I will call her K. K's biological father is only in the picture enough to pay child support and send K to his mom's house when it's supposed to be his one weekend a month. My wonderful man took over the parenting role when K was only 6 months old. K calls him "Daddy" and always has. My fiance and his ex found out they were pregnant when they were in the process of breaking up. They tried to make it work for about a year and half, through R's infant stage, but it just didn't happen. They agreed they would both have the kids equal parts.
A year and a half later, a bitter child support/custody battle has landed the ex with $600 a month of support, even though he has his biological child half the time (not to mention that he takes his non-biological child as well). The parenting issues that have come up have been endless. She is the most unreasonable person I've EVER dealt with. The moment we think she is going to become easier, the beast rears her ugly head (not really, she's actually very pretty!).
I have struggled personally with wanting to slap her in the face, wanting to sit down and try to understand her, and also with wanting to make her realize that the choices she makes are selfish and not in the kid's best interests. But then I have to remember that she will never see things clearly until she figures them out for herself. If we can all get along it will be the BEST possible option for the kids...can't she realize that?
I know I haven't given any specific evidence of her craziness yet, but I sure will!! Because I feel bad venting to anyone else, I will instead vent about her on here. I appreciate any advice on how to deal with my step-kids crazy mother!