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Ok, so if you dont know my situation the DH is deployed and i have visitation with my SD ordered by the Court, legal and everything. But EVERY time she visits she lets stuff leak. Last time it was that the Ex (her mom) was going to hit me if i ever tried to talk to her again at the custody change and that her mom was calling my child fat. Well I get her tonight and she tells me that she was in a play today at school. By order of the court, i am supposed to be notified 48 hours in advance of school functions. GGGRRRRRR. My question is, how do people like this get away with EVERYTHING???
so dh went to his individual counseling session the other day and shared bb's latest excursion into the city (her stalking halloween appearance). the counselor was freaked out. he sent the judge a letter informing him that dh has completed his counseling and that he doesn't think it would be good to continue joint counseling at this point in time. hallelujah. then the counselor began talking about how his last session with bb he really got her to open up and how detrimental her childhood was and blahdy, blah, blah, blah. WHO CARES?! sorry.
WOW! I just wanted to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving and your responses made me cry! We are one lucky bunch of people! God bless all of you!!!
Advice from the book Games Divorced People Play
"Successful After Divorce relationships consist of four basic elements:
1. Courtesy,
2. Financial Commitment,
3. Parental Commitment, and
4. Minimal Personal Contact.
"Courtesy means treating your ex as you would like to be treated. Cut the barbs, attacks, put downs and getting back ats.
"...the greater the contact the higher the probability for hassle. Positive interaction hinges on the divorced couple being emotionally unhooked and available for honest, game free transactions."
Parental conflict
Excerpted from Growing Up With Divorce, by Neil Kalter, Ph.D.
"While this 'friendly' divorce may be enormously reassuring to youngsters, it poses another more subtle problem. For many children it becomes more difficult to understand the need for a divorce....
"A moderate level of conflict between parents is surprisingly helpful to youngsters as they begin the task of coming to terms with the reality and finality of their parents' divorce."
And I think I might just agree. It kinda makes sense to me.
I haven't posted a blog lately. I just usually lurk and comment here and there. But I have a situation that has just floored me.
As I have posted in the past, my sd can be well...a challenge. I have taken a different approach with her. I just do not do the things I used to and have pretty much detached completly and let her dad deal with her. This has made my life much easier.
But I have to say that I do not get why dh and now mil just cave in to her whims.
If she actually DID something to deserve things that would be okay. Geez.
Okay, here goes.
I have had loads of great advice from you (mostly) ladies, some of which I'm doing already - like withdrawing from my SD16 after the rude & offensive behaviour she shows towards me at times, all of which my DH never sees or makes excuses for.
SO I finally get myself calmed down, and fell asleep on the bed, when I am awakened by the doorbell. It is MIL, I rush onto the screen porch and ask what is wrong she states "I want to talk to my son" I say why is something wrong, she says "I just want to talk to my son" So I come inside and call DH, he goes out on the screen porched and and I stay inside. About three minutes later, he comes in cursing "wtf ever" and slamming our front door. I ask him what is wrong, he is so mad he can't get the words out. So I go rushing out the door, to see what had happened MIL was gone.
Ok! I am very nervous. Tomorrow DH,SD and I go to see child mental health for an assesment on SD. I am freaked...what if the problem is me? What if everything that is wrong with her is my fault? Could it be? I am trying my hardest to be patient and understanding but some days it's difficult. Ok most days. I know this sounds bad but....I think she has ADD and I sort of hope it is. At least then there would be a reason and I wouldn't have to feel so guilty all the time.
I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and that we remember what we are thankful for! I do understand that sometimes this may be hard! 
I truly wish you a happy one!
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