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I thought of this while reading the forum topic about losing touch with the skids if DH were to die. So as not to hijack the thread...
I don't think I'll have much, if any, contact with SD stb 13 if her father were to die. I've been pretty open about my lack of emotional investment with SD due to lack of visitation. I do think BM will try to see me in court though.
Yet another migraine today, and they are coming more and more frequently. And I know what the cause is; the constant tension. Even when H is away at work, the tension is there because of him calling 15 times a day.
H and I were alone last night for dinner. I've discovered that he isn't good at communicating...how's your day dear, what'd you do...that's all fine and good, but that's pretty much it. He's not good at planning what to do with our time together or talking about important stuff like financing the house or how to get the kids to their games out of town. So I have come to the conclusion that when he has nothing to converse about, he picks fights. And he picked a fight last night about, you guessed it, bm.
Well, the way I see it, there are several factors at play here:
1. Dad's just don't parent the way a Mom would, for the most part. Even the most involved dad--is just not the same as Mommy. So that's strike one against StepMom. We are rooting for the parent of lesser status.
For the past couple of weeks I have been coming to terms with the fact that I will never come first for DH, and neither will our marriage. I have been grieving, really.
I hear DH say the right words that he loves me, time and again, but as soon as his adult children enter the picture with their latest "wants," our plans together turn to dust. When I protest, I am told that I am not "thinking right" or that I "just don't understand" or that I "hate DHs' kids." (Well, at least the latter is accurate).
SS is driving me nuts! He's 10 now so we don't send him to daycare, school ends at 3 so he's home by 3:30 and DH is home no later than 5 everynight.
I leave SS a snack for after school and than cook dinner when I get home. Well lately he's been eating us out of house and home. Just Thursday alone he ate the following in the 1 and 1/2 hours he was alone at home.
I used to be a step-mom and used this site a lot. Now I am a divorced mom and didn't know where else to turn for some advice or knowlege. I figured the majority of readers probably can help me with this issue. I have a 14 month old that I have physical custody of. Divorce was final Oct. Daughter who is only 14 months old has been going to the daycare (actually called learning center) under my care since August and she loves it there. The staff loves her and she has even moved up to a "toddler" room. Ex husband got visitation every other week from THURS pm until Sunday pm.
Background information pertaining to story – DH didn’t know he had a son until SS was about 5 years old. DH and BM dated when they were younger and she and her family later moved out of the state to WA, well I guess DH kept in contact with BM’s brother on and off, he decided to take a road trip and head to WA in the process, it was during that time that SS was conceived, I guess BM had been sleeping with more than one guy and so never told DH that she was pregnant (my guess is that she didn’t know who the dad was – so sad).
BM had said she would come in December 13th to right before nye, however, now she has said
1. she wants my husband to buy the plane ticket and she will "pay him back" (SHE IS OVER 10,000 IN ARREARS)
2. she asked if she could camp out in the backyard instead of having to stay in a church
3. she wants to stay for a whole month!!!!! from the 13th to the 13th of January!
F*** YOU, B****, AS IF.
I asked my husband what he said in response and he said, "all I could say is 'you're crazy'"...
lovin' it!
I appreciate any input here; he's rambling ON AND ON about how
he can never make plans or I'm jealous (I'm purposely rambling
here) and how he can never do anything but I can do whatever I want (??? I work, come home, take care of the pets, teach college, make money)
He was calm as a cucumber all weekend; then tonight he goes
ballistic; is that bipolar?
God, I love this site. Geez, I'm the one who's supposed to be
PMS. He's acting like HE'S PMS!!